Surprise quotes funny are hilarious sayings that can make you laugh out loud. They are often unexpected, witty, and can have an element of surprise. Whether they’re cleverly-worded puns or tongue-in-cheek one-liners, surprise quotes funny are always a good source of amusement. So if you’re looking for a lighthearted pick-me-up, this is your go-to collection!1. “Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.”
2. “Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.”
3. “If you can’t convince them, confuse them.”
4. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew.”
5. “The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.”
6. “My life is like a romantic comedy, minus the romance and just me laughing at my own jokes.”
7. “I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.”
8. “Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.”
9. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
10. “Light travels faster than sound which is why some people appear bright until they speak!”
15 Funniest Quotes Ever That Will Make You Burst Out Laughing
Laughter is the best medicine, and there’s nothing like a good quote to tickle your funny bone. Here are some of the funniest quotes ever that will make you burst out laughing.
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin
“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” – Thumper (Bambi)
“I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.” – Unknown
“If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving isn’t for you.” – Unknown
“I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.” – Unknown
“To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.” – Sharon Stone
“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – George Carlin < br >< br >
“If I had a dollar for every smart person I know…Wait I actually do!” – Unknown < br >< br >
“My advice: Have a sense of humor; it will serve you well in difficult situations and throughout life in general.” – Unknown < br >< br >
“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth!” – Unknown < br >< br >
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx < br >< br >
“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
20 Funny Quotes That Will Bring a Smile to Your Face
Life can be hard and sometimes a little humor goes a long way. There’s nothing like a good laugh to take your mind off the stresses of daily life. Here are 20 funny quotes that will bring a smile to your face.
“If you can’t convince them, confuse them.” – Harry S. Truman
“I didn’t fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” – Benjamin Franklin
“The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.” – Al McGuire
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.” – Earl Wilson
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. ”– Lily Tomlin
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin
“My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.” – Bart Simpson
“I’m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.” – Caroline Rhea
“Life is like riding a bicycle: You don’t fall off unless you stop pedaling.” – Claude Pepper
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty-five. She’s ninety-seven now and we don’t know where she is.” – Ellen DeGeneres
20 Funny Quotes That Will Bring a Smile to Your Face
“Age is an issue of mind over matter: If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain
20 Funny Quotes That Will Bring a Smile to Your Face
“Never go to bed mad; stay up and fight!” – Phyllis Diller
20 Funny Quotes That Will Bring a Smile to Your Face
“If at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving.” – Henny Youngman
20 Funny Quotes That Will Bring a Smile to Your Face
“Outside of a dog, books are man’s best friend; inside of dog it’s too dark to read.” – Groucho Marx
20 Funny Quotes That Will Bring a Smile to Your Face
“I love deadlines; I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.” – Douglas Adams
Short and Sweet Funny Quotes
Humor is a great way to lighten the mood and make conversations more enjoyable. And what better way to do that than with some short and sweet funny quotes? Here are 25 of the best ones:
1. “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” – Mark Twain
2. “You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.” – Winnie The Pooh
3. “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin
4. “Never take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.” – Unknown
5. “If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” – Dolly Parton
6. “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.” – Forrest Gump
7. “People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.” – Isaac Asimov
8. “Not all those who wander are lost.” – JRR Tolkien
9. “There are no strangers here; only friends you haven’t yet met.” – William Butler Yeats
10. “Imagination is more important than knowledge.” – Albert Einstein
11. “The most wasted of days is one without laughter.” – E E Cummings
12. “Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw
13. “We make our own luck by giving fate a helping hand!” – Terry Pratchett
14 . “A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step” – Lao Tzu < br >< br > 15 . “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop” – Confucius < br >< br > 16 . “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need” – The Rolling Stones < br >< br > 17 . “I’m so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I’m saying” – Oscar Wilde < br >< br > 18 . “Life moves pretty fast; if you don’t stop and look around once in awhile,you could miss it”– Ferris Bueller’s Day Off < br >< br > 19 . “If at first,you don’t succeed; call it version 1 0″– Unknown < br >< br > 20 . “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today;it’s already tomorrow in Australia”– Charles M Schulz < br >< br > 21 . “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on”– Robert Frost < br >< br > 22 .”Be yourself; everyone else is already taken”- Oscar Wilde < br >< br > 23 .”Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened”- Dr Seuss < br >< br > 24 .”No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”- Eleanor Roosevelt < Br >< Br > 25 .”Everything happens for a reason”- Unknown
30 of the Funniest Quotes for a Good Laugh
Laughter is said to be the best medicine, and there’s nothing like a funny quote to brighten your day. Here are 30 of the funniest quotes from some of the most famous comedians and actors, sure to bring a smile to your face and make you laugh out loud.
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.” – Steve Martin
“If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.” – Steven Wright
“A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.” – Franklin P. Jones
“A good friend will help you move. But best friend will help you move a body.” – Unknown
“I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.” – Joan Rivers
“When I was kidnapped my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.” – Woody Allen
“I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.” – Wendy Liebman
“I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week.” – Unknown
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like and do what you’d rather not.” – Mark Twain
“If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you!” – Steven Wright < br >< br >
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already!” – Dave Barry < br >< br >
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin < br >< br >
“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I’m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God….I could be eating a slow learner.” – Lynda Montgomery < br >< br >
“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.” – Sharon Stone < br >< br >
“My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, ‘Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.'” – Paula Poundstone < br >< br >
“Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.” —Lily Tomlin < br >< br >
“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, The Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, and Germany doesn’t want to go to war.” —Chris Rock
35 Funny Inspirational Quotes to Brighten Your Day
Sometimes all it takes to brighten up your day is a few funny and inspirational quotes. Whether you’re having a bad day or just need a little pick-me-up, these quotes will give you the motivation and humor you need to power through. Here are 35 funny and inspirational quotes to help you get through your day.
“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” – Abraham Lincoln
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” – Charles R. Swindoll
“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard
“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” – Milton Berle
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill
“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” – Mary Engelbreit
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” – Thomas A. Edison
“Creativity is intelligence having fun.” – Albert Einstein
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” – Helen Keller
“A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” – Albert Einstein
“It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get up again.” – Vince Lombardi < br>< br >
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” — George Bernard Shaw
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“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
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“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” — Beverly Sills
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“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.” — Vivian Greene
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“If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way.” — Martin Luther King Jr.
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“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value .” — Albert Einstein
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“I am thankful for all of those who said NO TO ME . It’s because of them I’m doing it myself .” — Albert Einstein
Humorous Quotes That Will Make You Smile
Humor is a great way to break the ice and lighten the mood. Whether you’re looking for a pick-me-up, or just want to make someone else laugh, these humorous quotes are sure to bring a smile. Here are 40 of the funniest quotes around that will make you smile.
“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin
“If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” – Woody Allen
“Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” – Tom Lehrer
“Laughter is an instant vacation.” – Milton Berle
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” – Margaret Mead
“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” – Mark Twain
“I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” – Woody Allen
“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” – Steven Wright
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln
“If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.” – Mahatma Gandhi <
45 Funny Sayings That’ll Leave You in Stitches
Humor is a great way to lift your spirits and make the day a bit brighter. Whether you’re looking for funny quotes, short jokes, or one-liners, we’ve compiled a list of 45 funny sayings that will leave you in stitches.
From witty comebacks to amusing puns, these comical quips are sure to bring some cheer into your life. Whether you’re trying to make someone laugh or just need a pick-me-up, these funny sayings are sure to do the trick.
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln
“Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.” – Unknown
“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” – Steven Wright
“If at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving.” – Unknown
“If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.” – Unknown
“I’m tired of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later.” – Mitch Hedberg
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” – Unknown
“Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.” – Charles Swindoll
Conclusion
Surprise quotes funny can be a great way to lighten up an otherwise stressful situation. They can also help to put a smile on someone’s face, even when they are feeling down. It is important to remember that the best surprise quotes funny are those that come from the heart and that make people laugh and feel good. When we can all share in the joy of laughter and smiles, it makes the world a better place to live in.
So, if you ever need a few surprise quotes funny to bring some lightheartedness into your life or someone else’s life, remember to look for something heartfelt and genuine that will make everyone laugh. If we all take a few moments each day to find something humorous, then we can help spread laughter and joy throughout our lives.