Smoke funny quotes are a great way to lighten the mood and bring humour into a conversation. Whether you’re looking for a clever one-liner or an amusing anecdote, these quotes can make any conversation more interesting. From witty one-liners to clever observations, these funny quotes about smoking will add levity to any gathering. So grab your lighter, let the smoke fill the air and enjoy these lighthearted quotes!1. “I’m on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.” – Unknown
2. “When life gives you lemons, grab some tequila and salt and call me over.” – Unknown
3. “My life is like a smoke break: short, sweet and to the point.” – Unknown
4. “Smoking is the only vice I have left… and I’m not even sure that counts.” – Unknown
5. “I don’t smoke, but if I did, it would be Marlboro Reds all day long.” – Unknown
6. “I’m an expert at multitasking: I can waste time, be unproductive and procrastinate all at once.” – Unknown
7. “I don’t smoke cigarettes anymore… but I still enjoy smoking my friends!” – Unknown
8. “Some days you just need a smoke break to clear the cobwebs away.” – Unknown
9. “A cigarette is like a four-minute vacation from reality.” – Unknown
10. “If nothing else works, try smoking a cigarette…it’s cheaper than therapy!” – Unknown
10 Funny Quotes About Smoking
Smoking has long been a source of humor in pop culture, although the health risks associated with it are very real. Here are ten funny quotes about smoking that might make you think twice about lighting up!
“Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.” – Fletcher Knebel
“I don’t smoke anymore. I don’t want to encourage any bad habits.” – Jerry Seinfeld
“I used to smoke two packs a day until I was twenty-five. Then I switched to a much healthier habit – drinking.” – Dan Castellaneta
“There is nothing worse than a cigarette hangover.” – Jennifer Aniston
“If you don’t smoke, you’re a loser.” – Joss Whedon
“I quit smoking, and it’s the best thing I ever did. Now I’m just an occasional cigar smoker.” – David Letterman
“I’m trying to quit smoking, but it’s tough when all your friends are smokers.” – Steve Buscemi
“The only way to stop smoking is to scare yourself so much that you never want to touch another cigarette again.” – Bill Maher
“If smoking is so bad for you, why do they put filters on cigarettes?” – Steven Wright
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“The only time smoking is good for you is when you’re on fire.” – Unknown
Witty Smoking Quotes
Smoking has a bad reputation and can be seen as a negative habit. But, in spite of the health risks, there is no denying that smoking has been an integral part of many cultures for centuries. Some of these cultures have even developed witty quotes about smoking which are often humorous and thought-provoking. Here are ten of the best witty smoking quotes:
“Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.” – Fletcher Knebel
“I don’t smoke to be cool, I smoke to look cool.” – Unknown
“When I light up a cigarette, I know that I’m not doing myself any good. But sometimes it’s just so hard to resist the temptation.” – Unknown
“If you can’t stop smoking, at least smoke where it won’t do any harm… like outdoors.” – Unknown
“A cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.” – Edward George Bulwer-Lytton
“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.” – Brooke Shields
“People who don’t smoke have something to hide from themselves.” – Edward Abbey
“I never smoked but once and that was when I tried to commit suicide by inhaling a burning match… It didn’t work!” – Mae West
“Quitting smoking is easy; I’ve done it hundreds of times.” – Mark Twain “I’m trying to give up smoking—but it’s one drag at a time!” – Unknown
10 Amusing Quotes About Smoking Weed
Smoking weed is a popular pastime for many, and it’s often the source of some hilarious quotes and sayings. Here are some of the funniest quotes about smoking marijuana that you’re sure to enjoy:
“If the world was a logical place, men would ride sidesaddle.” -Rita Mae Brown
“Smoking pot doesn’t make you cool; it just makes you forget how uncool you really are.” -Anonymous
“Weed is like pizza, even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.” -Anonymous
“Weed is like a hug from nature.” -Anonymous
“Life is a lot more fun when your eyes are red.” -Anonymous
“Marijuana may not be addictive, but man, it sure is habit-forming!” -Anonymous
“I don’t smoke weed to escape reality; I smoke weed to enjoy reality even more.” – Anonymous
“When life gives you lemons, roll them up in some blunt papers and smoke ’em!” – Anonymous
“Weed is like music – there’s something for everyone.” – Anonymous
“Smoke weed every day!” – Dr. Dre
Humorous Cigarette Quotes
Cigarette smoking has been an integral part of many cultures and societies around the world. It has both its advocates and its detractors, but one thing is certain – there have been some hilarious quotes about cigarettes that have brought a smile to many faces. Here are 10 of the most humorous cigarette quotes:
1. “Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.” – Brooke Shields
2. “There are some circles in which it is considered rude to ask a man if he will have a cigarette, while it is perfectly correct to ask him if he will take a drink.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
3. “If I had my life to live over again, I’d be a plumber.” – Albert Einstein
4. “I never smoke any more – I only inhale occasionally.” – Mark Twain
5. “I love sleep – my life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?” – Ernest Hemingway
6. “My doctor told me to quit smoking and drinking; now I don’t even have enough energy to do both at the same time!” – Anonymous
7. “Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.” – Fletcher Knebel
8. “Smoking stinks! And if you’re not careful it’ll stick to you!” – Anonymous
9. “I never smoke before lunch—it interferes with my appetite.” – W C Fields
10. “Some people smoke because it’s cool; I do it because it’s warmer than walking.” – Anonymous
Smoker Sayings That Will Make You Laugh
Smoking is not only bad for your health, but it can also be quite funny. Whether you’re a smoker or not, there are some hilarious sayings out there that are sure to make you chuckle. Here are 10 of the funniest smoker sayings to bring a smile to your face:
“I don’t smoke because I enjoy it; I just do it because I know the consequences of not smoking.”
“My doctor told me to quit smoking, so I did… in my dreams!”
“I don’t need an ashtray; I just use my lungs.”
“I smoke because it helps me relax and stay calm in stressful situations. That, and the nicotine helps me focus.”
“I wish smoking was as easy as quitting!”
“When you quit smoking, you stop inhaling tar and other cancer-causing chemicals. But it’s still hard to kick the habit.”
“My doctor said I should quit smoking, so here I am with a lighter in one hand and a pack of cigarettes in the other.”
“Why do people smoke? Because they can’t hold their breath for long enough.”
“If you want to be healthy, don’t smoke; if you want to be cool, do smoke!”
“If your lungs were as black as mine, you would quit too!”
Sarcastic Jokes About Smoking
Smoking: it’s not just bad for your health, it’s also a great source of comedic material! Here are 10 hilarious jokes about smoking that will make you chuckle.
1. Why do people who smoke always have a lighter on them? Because they’re used to being on fire!
2. What do you call a smoker who quit? A miracle!
3. What do you call a person who smokes and drinks? A fire hazard!
4. How can you tell if someone is a smoker? Just look for the smoke coming out of their ears!
5. Why did the smoker cross the road? To get to the ashtray!
6. What did the cigarette say to its partner? We make a great pair!
7. Why did the smoker become an astronaut? He wanted to explore other galaxies!
8. What did one cigarette say to the other after they kissed? Let’s do this again sometime soon!
9. How can you tell when someone has been smoking in your house? You can smell it in your lungs!
10. What did the cigarette say to its friends at the bar? Let’s get lit tonight!
1. “Cigarette smoking is a habit that drains your wallet and clouds your lungs.”
Smoking cigarettes is bad for your health and your wallet. Not only can it cause serious health problems like lung cancer, but it can also be expensive to maintain the habit. Smoking cigarettes can cloud your lungs with harmful toxins, making it difficult to breathe and perform everyday activities. Quitting smoking is a difficult task, but the financial and health benefits make it worth it in the long run.
2. “Smoke less and smile more.”
When considering tobacco use, one should always remember to smoke less and smile more. While smoking can be an enjoyable activity for some, it comes with serious consequences. Smoking can lead to a myriad of health issues, from respiratory illnesses to cancer, so cutting back on smoking can help protect against these dangers. Additionally, people who smoke less will have more money in their wallets due to not having to buy tobacco products as often. Smiling more is also good for one’s mental health as smiling releases endorphins that make us feel good!
3. “Tobacco use kills 6 million people each year.”
It’s no secret that tobacco use can be deadly; in fact, according to the World Health Organization (WHO), tobacco use kills 6 million people each year worldwide! This staggering number highlights just how dangerous cigarettes and other forms of tobacco really are when used regularly or even occasionally. Quitting smoking or using other forms of tobacco is an important step towards reducing this number and improving one’s own health at the same time.
4. “Quit now for a healthier tomorrow.”
The sooner you quit using tobacco products, the better off you will be in the future! Quitting now will help ensure that you won’t suffer from any serious health problems related to smoking in the future, such as lung cancer or COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease). It will also save you money since you won’t have to buy as many packs of cigarettes or other forms of tobacco anymore! Make sure you take care of yourself today so that you can enjoy a healthier tomorrow.
5. “Tobacco isn’t worth it; don’t start!”
If you’ve never used tobacco before then don’t start now! The risks associated with smoking far outweigh any potential benefits there may be from using these products regularly or even occasionally. Tobacco use has been linked with numerous health concerns such as lung cancer and COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease). Don’t put yourself at risk; don’t start using any form of tobacco!
“Smoking isn’t glamorous; it’s hazardous.”
Many young people think that smoking makes them look cool or glamorous when in reality it is quite hazardous for their health. Smoking has been linked with various diseases such as cancer and COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease). Furthermore, smoking also increases one’s risk of heart disease, stroke, emphysema and other illnesses; not exactly glamorous! Don’t let yourself fall into this trap; there are much safer ways to look cool than through cigarette smoke.
“Smoking doesn’t just affect you; second-hand smoke does too!”
Everyone knows about the dangers associated with second-hand smoke from cigarettes but many people forget about its effects on others around them who do not smoke themselves. Second-hand smoke contains a plethora of hazardous chemicals which can lead to serious illnesses among non-smokers if they are exposed over long periods of time or frequently enough. So remember: if you’re going to light up then do so away from those who might be harmed by second-hand smoke.
“Life is too short for cigarettes.”
This quote serves as an important reminder: life is too short for cigarettes! We all want our lives to last as long as possible but unfortunately this isn’t always possible due to various factors such as genetics or lifestyle choices like smoking cigarettes regularly or even occasionally over long periods of time which increases one’s risk of developing serious illnesses like cancer or COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease). Make every day count by living a healthier lifestyle without having to rely on cigarettes.
Conclusion
Smoke funny quotes are an excellent way to lighten up a smoker’s mood and make them feel better about their habit. They can also be used to spark conversations with other smokers or even non-smokers. Smoke funny quotes can be found all over the internet, and there is a huge variety of them to choose from. Whether you are looking for something to make yourself laugh or something to share with someone else, there is sure to be a smoke funny quote that fits the bill.
Smoke funny quotes can be a great way to lighten up any conversation and bring some levity into the situation. They can also help remind smokers why they enjoy smoking, which can be beneficial for those who are trying to quit. No matter what your purpose with smoke funny quotes may be, there is sure to be one that fits your needs perfectly.