Sexual sayings funny can be a great way to spice up your conversations with friends and family members. They can also be a fun way to share humorous stories or jokes with others. Whether you’re looking for an off-color joke or a more risqué innuendo, there’s something for everyone when it comes to sexual sayings funny. From puns to double entendres, these sayings can help make any conversation more interesting and entertaining. So why not give some of them a try?1. “If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong.”
2. “The most important sex organ is the brain.”
3. “Why pay for a motel? Just use your own two feet and walk to the bedroom.”
4. “Sex is like pizza: even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.”
5. “Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.”
6. “It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.”
7. “I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.”
8. “If lovemaking lasts longer than 10 minutes, you’re doing it wrong.”
9. “Sex is like playing bridge – if you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”
10. “Sex is not the answer… Sex is the question. ‘Yes’ is the answer.”
The Most Hilarious Sexual Jokes
Humor is a great way to lighten the mood and make conversations more enjoyable. And when it comes to the realm of sexual jokes, it’s no surprise that they are often some of the funniest. Whether you’re looking to make someone laugh or just curious about what makes a good sexual joke, here are some of the most hilarious sexual jokes out there.
One of the most classic examples is the one about why men have nipples: “Because if they didn’t, then women would have something to play with!” It’s a simple joke but it always gets a few laughs. Another classic sexual joke is about why men don’t last longer in bed: “Because their brains can only handle so much pleasure!” This one always brings out some chuckles as well.
For those who like a bit more innuendo, there are plenty of jokes that work well too. For example: “Why don’t women orgasm? Because they don’t have penises!” This is one of those jokes that gets people laughing uncomfortably but still enjoying themselves nonetheless. Or how about this one: “What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Fur Paddles!” This one is sure to bring out lots of laughter and maybe even a few blushes.
Of course, there are also plenty of jokes that take on more risque topics too. For example: “Why did God create pubic hair? So men would have something to play with when women weren’t around!” While this may not be appropriate for all audiences, it can definitely get some laughs from people who enjoy raunchy humor.
When it comes to sexual jokes, there really is something for everyone. Whether you’re looking for something light-hearted or something with a bit more edge, these are some of the most hilarious sexual jokes out there!
9 Sexy and Saucy Sayings
There is nothing quite as naughty and exciting as exchanging playful, sexy sayings with your partner. Whether you are in a new relationship or have been together for years, these saucy sayings can add a little spice to your love life. Here are some of the most popular sexy and saucy sayings sure to make your lover blush:
“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.” This classic saying is flirty and sweet all at once. It’s sure to get a smile out of your partner!
“You must be a dictionary because you add meaning to my life.” This saying is great for showing someone how much they mean to you.
“I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.” This saucy phrase conveys the idea that you see yourself with your special someone in the future.
“Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you, my house looked beautiful.” This funny line will get some laughter out of your partner while making them feel appreciated at the same time.
“Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?” With this saying, you are sure to get your way!
“Are those space pants? Because your butt is out of this world!” This one may sound silly, but it’s sure to get some laughs and show that you appreciate their figure.
“I seem to have lost my number, can I borrow yours?” This sweet line shows that you want them close by but also gives them a chance to take control of the situation.
“Everything happens for a reason…so why don’t we be the reason for each other?” Your partner will feel loved when they hear this phrase.
“If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.” Who can resist such an adorable sentiment?
Raunchy Quotes about Sex
Sex is often seen as a taboo subject in many cultures, but there is no denying its power and importance in human relationships. There have been countless raunchy quotes about sex over the years, from the hilarious to the thought provoking. Here are seven of the best:
“Sex is like a card game, you shouldn’t always want to win.” -Anonymous
“Sex is emotion in motion.” -Mae West
“An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.” -Woody Allen
“The only thing better than having sex is talking about having it.” -Dylan Moran
“Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it’s one of the best.” -Woody Allen
“If it weren’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.” -Rodney Dangerfield
“After sex, I usually say ‘Thanks.’ For what I’m not sure.” -Anonymous
Naughtiest Sex Slogans
Sex can be a fun and exciting way to explore your sexuality, but sometimes it can be taken too far. In an effort to be provocative, some people have come up with some pretty naughty sex slogans. Here are five of the naughtiest sex slogans that will make you blush:
“Let’s Get Busy and Make Some Babies!” – This one takes the cake for being naughty and suggestive. If you want to get your partner in the mood, this one is sure to do the trick!
“Make It Hotter Than Hell!” – This one is sure to raise a few eyebrows. It implies that your sex life should be wild and passionate, with no holds barred!
“Do it Till You Drop!” – This one implies that you should keep going until you can’t anymore! You’ll definitely need stamina for this one.
“Take It All Off!” – This one is sure to get your partner’s attention. Taking off all of your clothes is an incredibly daring move, but it can also be incredibly sexy.
“Come As You Are!” – This slogan suggests that you don’t need any fancy costumes or props in order to enjoy a night of passion. Just come as you are and let the sparks fly!
Funniest Sexual One-Liners
Sex is a lot like bridge: if you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? About 45 minutes.
Why can’t Miss Piggy count to 70? Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69.
Love and Sex
Love and sex are two very different things, yet they often come together in the most beautiful way. For many, love and sex go hand-in-hand, creating beautiful moments of passion and pleasure. There are many sassy and risqué quotes about love and sex that capture this relationship perfectly. Here are three of the best:
“Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.” – Woody Allen
This quote by Woody Allen captures the idea that sex without love can still be pleasurable. It may not be as fulfilling as when there is an emotional connection present, but it can still be an enjoyable experience.
“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” – Joan Crawford
This quote by Joan Crawford highlights how unpredictable love can be. Love has great potential to bring joy into our lives, but it can also cause great pain if it does not work out.
“Sex isn’t a spectator sport; if you’re not in the game, don’t talk about it.” – Unknown
This quote encourages people to only talk about sex if they are actually having it. It’s important to respect other people’s privacy when it comes to intimate matters like this one.
Sex and Romance
Sex and romance go hand in hand. It’s almost impossible to have one without the other. They fuel each other, and are both deeply intertwined in our lives. For some, they may even be synonymous. Sex and romance bring out strong emotions in people, and often times elicit witty sayings that capture the essence of what it means to be in love. Here are two such sayings:
“Love is like a burning fire – it needs constant stoking to keep it going.” This saying is a reminder that love is something that needs to be nurtured over time. Without proper care and attention, love can quickly fizzle out.
“The best part about sex is that you can do it alone – no need for another person!” This quote speaks to the idea that sex can be a solitary experience if you so choose – there’s no need for a partner if you don’t want one!
Conclusion
Sexual sayings can be funny and in many cases they can be an effective way to lighten up a conversation and make it more enjoyable. While it’s important to be mindful of the context in which one is using sexual sayings, in the right environment, they can add to the fun and help to diffuse any tension or awkwardness. It is also important to consider the other person’s comfort level when using sexual sayings, as what may seem funny to one person may not be funny or appropriate for another. Ultimately, whether or not sexual sayings are used should depend on the dynamics of the group and each individual’s comfort level with such language.
In conclusion, sexual sayings can be a great addition to conversations when used appropriately. It’s important to think carefully about who you’re talking with before deciding if it is appropriate or not, as well as considering their feelings towards such language. When used correctly, sexual sayings can help to lighten up any environment and can provide a great source of entertainment for all involved.