Rodney Dangerfield was an American comedian, actor, and writer who is best known for his self-deprecating one-liners and jokes. His catchphrase was “I don’t get no respect!” Dangerfield’s comedy was often centered around his inability to get respect from other people. He has become famous for quips like “I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out,” which has become part of the American lexicon. Dangerfield’s wit and humor have been quoted in many books, movies, and TV shows. Here are some of his most popular quotes that will make you laugh out loud.”I don’t get no respect. No respect at all!” – Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield’s Best One-Liners
Rodney Dangerfield was known for his sharp wit and hilarious one-liners. He was a master of self-deprecating humor, and would often leave audiences in stitches with his absurd observations about life. Here are some of Rodney Dangerfield’s classic one-liners to bring a smile to your face:
“I get no respect. When I was born, the doctor took one look at my face… and turned me over.”
“My wife’s such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.”
“I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.”
“I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.”
“My wife is so ugly – she looks like she’s been in a closed room for 40 years with only her mirror for company!”
“I went to see my doctor. ‘Doctor,’ I said, ‘I’ve hurt my arm in several places.’ He told me to stop going to those places!”
Dangerfield’s Most Hilarious Lines
Rodney Dangerfield was an American comedian and actor whose career spanned nearly five decades. His deadpan delivery and self-deprecating one-liners made him one of the most beloved comedians of his time. Dangerfield’s comedic style earned him the nickname “The King of One-Liners,” and he is widely considered to be one of the best stand-up comedians ever. Here are some of Dangerfield’s most hilarious lines:
“My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.”
“I tell ya, my wife and I, we don’t think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless.”
“My wife’s such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.”
“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody’s fingers.”
“I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.”
Humorous Quotes By Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield was an American comedian, actor, and social media sensation who is well-remembered for his self-deprecating one-liners and wisecracks. His catchphrase, “I don’t get no respect!”, is iconic to this day. Here are some of Dangerfield’s most hilarious quotes:
“My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.”
“My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and asked who May was.”
“I know I’m not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit of the Loom guys giggling.”
“I went to see my doctor. ‘Doctor,’ I said, ‘I’ve hurt my arm in several places.’ He told me to stop going to those places.”
“I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
“My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.”
Most Memorable Quips From Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield was a one of a kind comedian known for his iconic catchphrase, “I don’t get no respect!” He had an inimitable style that made him stand out from the rest of the comedic greats. His jokes were often self-deprecating and often centered around how he was never taken seriously. Among his many hilarious quips, here are some of the most memorable ones:
“My wife’s such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.”
“My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.”
“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.”
“I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.”
“When I was born, I was so ugly my mother never breastfed me; she told me she only liked me as a friend.”
“My grandmother has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a venetian blind.”
No matter what Rodney Dangerfield said or did, it always had an element of humor and wit to it that made it truly memorable. His jokes will continue to be passed down for generations and will continue to make people laugh all over the world.
Rodney Dangerfield’s Iconic Jokes
Rodney Dangerfield was a beloved comedian known for his hilarious one-liners and witty remarks. His comedy was often self-deprecating, making him a fan favorite for decades. He was the master of the joke, and many of his most famous quotes have become iconic over time. Here are some of Rodney Dangerfield’s most iconic jokes that will make you laugh out loud:
“I don’t get no respect. I asked my wife if she’d ever seen me drunk and she said ‘Yes, twice!'”
“My doctor told me I had a serious complaint. He said ‘You’re lazy.'”
“My wife says I never listen to her…or something like that.”
“I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.”
“I tell ya, my wife is really stupid…or as I like to call her, ‘my former wife.'”
“My psychiatrist told me I’m going crazy. I told him ‘If you don’t mind, I’d like a second opinion.’ He said ‘All right – you’re ugly too!'”
Most Popular Quotes From Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield was one of the most beloved comedians of the 20th century, and his quips and puns still stand the test of time. He was known for his self-deprecating sense of humor and his catchphrase, “I don’t get no respect!” Here are some of his most popular quotes:
“My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.”
“I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.”
“I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.”
“I tell ya, my wife and I, we don’t think alike. She donates money to the homeless; I donate money to the “to homed”.
“My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.”
“My mother had morning sickness after I was born.”
“A girl phoned me the other day and said ‘Come on over, there’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home!
Comical Sayings By Rodney Dangerfield
Rodney Dangerfield was an American comedian, actor, screenwriter, producer and singer known for his self-deprecating humor and his catchphrase “I don’t get no respect!”. He was also well-known for his comical sayings which often left the audience in stitches. Some of his most famous ones include:
“My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer”.
“I tell ya, I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest”.
“I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap”.
“My psychiatrist told me I’m going crazy. I told him, ‘If you don’t mind I’d like a second opinion’. He said ‘Okay – you’re ugly too!'”.
“I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown necktie”.
“My mother had morning sickness after I was born”.
“It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass!”
These comical sayings by Rodney Dangerfield often had us in fits of laughter and still do!
Conclusion
Rodney Dangerfield was a comedic genius whose quotes still invoke laughter and joy today. His witty and sarcastic humor has become a part of our culture, and his quotes are often used to make light of difficult situations. Dangerfield was more than just a comedian, he was an inspiration for many people who used his quotes to stay positive during tough times. He will always be remembered for his larger-than-life personality and the laughs he brought to countless people around the world.
Dangerfield’s legacy lives on in the form of his many memorable quotes. His timeless humor will continue to bring laughter and joy for generations to come, proving that Rodney Dangerfield truly did not get “no respect”.