Norm Macdonald is one of the most beloved comedians of all time. His wit, charm, and sarcasm have made him a fan favorite for decades. He’s well-known for his unique brand of humor, which often involves deadpan delivery combined with clever wordplay and self-deprecating remarks. His quotes are as hilarious as they are thought-provoking, and they continue to inspire generations of comedians. Here are some of Norm Macdonald’s best quotes that will make you laugh, think, and maybe even appreciate life a little bit more.1. “If I don’t have a joke, I’d rather just be quiet and not take up anyone’s time.” – Norm Macdonald
2. “It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.” – Norm Macdonald
3. “I don’t think I’m very funny. But I’m funny to some people, and it’s enough to make a career out of it.” – Norm Macdonald
4. “I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.” – Norm Macdonald
5. “If you die in an elevator be sure to push the Up button.” – Norm Macdonald
6. “A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.” – Norm Macdonald
7. “The best thing about prison was the demented comradeship.” – Norm Macdonald
8. “My relationships tend not to last too long because they get bored with my complete lack of emotion and ambition.” – Norm Macdonald
9. “Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn’t last long for fat people” – Norm Macdonald
10. “The IRS! They’re like the mafia, they can take anything they want!” –Norm Macdonald
Norm Macdonald’s Top Quotes
Norm Macdonald is a Canadian comedian, actor and writer known for his dry wit and sarcastic humor. He has appeared on major comedy shows such as Saturday Night Live and the Late Show with David Letterman, as well as in films such as Dirty Work and Billy Madison. Throughout his career, Norm Macdonald has become renowned for delivering some of the most memorable lines in comedy history. Here are some of Norm Macdonald’s top quotes:
“I’m an optimist in the sense that I believe humans are noble and honorable, and some of them are really smart. I have a very optimistic view of individuals.”
“People always ask me why I never got married and I tell them it’s because I’m picky. But really it’s because no one ever asked me.”
“The best advice I ever got was that knowledge is power and to keep reading.”
“I think the greatest day of my life was when I learned to ride a bicycle. It was like suddenly the world opened up to me.”
“You know what they say: ‘Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.'”
“Life is like a roller coaster – there are highs and lows but in the end, you still enjoy the ride.”
“If you don’t learn from your mistakes, there’s no sense making them in the first place.”
“You can’t always get what you want – sometimes you just have to settle for what you can get.”
Norm Macdonald’s Most Memorable Quotes
Norm Macdonald is known for his unique and often hilarious takes on life. From his standup comedy to his appearances on television and in films, Norm has always had a knack for delivering funny one-liners that stay with you long after the show. His quotes range from the absurd to the profound, and there’s something for everyone in Macdonald’s repertoire. Here are some of Norm Macdonald’s most memorable quotes.
“Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.”
“If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.”
“I don’t believe in a lot of things, but I do believe in duct tape.”
“The only way you can hurt me is if you hit me with a wrench.”
“I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
“If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving isn’t for you.”
“When life hands you lemons, squirt someone in the eye!”
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
Most Hilarious Quotes from Norm Macdonald
Norm Macdonald is a Canadian stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and producer. He is known for his deadpan delivery and his signature long pauses between jokes. Over the years, he has become a master of delivering one-liners that make us laugh out loud. Here are some of his most hilarious quotes:
“I haven’t seen ‘Titanic’ yet, but I’ve heard it’s just like ‘The Poseidon Adventure.’ Only it’s in water.”
“Why are people so scared of clowns? Have you ever seen a clown commit a crime? No. And why not? Because they’re too busy making balloon animals.”
“Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.”
“Ever notice how ‘What the hell?’ is always the right answer?”
“I was playing poker the other night… with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.”
“I saw this sign that said ‘Watch for children.’ And I thought, ‘That sounds like a fair trade.'”
Norm Macdonald’s unique brand of humor has kept us laughing for decades. Whether you’re looking for a quick chuckle or an extended belly laugh, these hilarious quotes from Norm Macdonald will have you rolling on the floor in no time!
Funniest Norm Macdonald Quotes
Norm Macdonald has been a comedian and actor for over three decades, earning a reputation as one of the funniest people in show business. His dry, sarcastic wit and deadpan delivery have made him a fan favorite around the world, and his quotes are often quoted by people of all ages. Here are some of the funniest Norm Macdonald quotes:
“I don’t want to make any sweeping generalizations, but all women are stupid.”
“I was raised by my mother and father in an atmosphere of love and respect. I also lived with my two sisters so there was plenty of arguing going on.”
“If you want to be successful in life, you have to learn how to take criticism. That doesn’t mean you have to take it personally or let it get you down, but you do have to learn how to roll with the punches.”
“I’m not sure what I believe in anymore. I used to believe in organized religion but now I’m not so sure. Maybe I just need more faith.”
“The only advice I can give is to never give up – no matter what.”
“Life is too short to take too seriously – try to enjoy every moment as much as possible!”
Norm Macdonald’s Witty Words of Wisdom
Norm Macdonald is a comedian, actor and writer who is well-known for his deadpan delivery and clever wit. He has a knack for delivering wisdom in an off-the-cuff, humorous way that often resonates with audiences. Here are some of Norm Macdonald’s witty words of wisdom that have made him so popular:
“Life is like a game of poker. You have to play it as it lies and be ready for every eventuality.”
“Sometimes the only way to win is to fold. It’s not always about taking home the pot.”
“If you can’t laugh at yourself, you’re probably not going to get very far in life.”
“Everything in life has an expiration date, so make sure you use it wisely.”
“Trying to please everyone can be a fool’s errand, so try to focus on pleasing yourself first.”
“Be careful who you trust; even the most innocent can turn against you when money is involved.”
“Don’t let other people define your success; do what makes you happy and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks.”
“Don’t take yourself too seriously; laughter really is the best medicine!”
Norm Macdonald’s Most Inspiring Quotes
Norm Macdonald is a comedian, actor, and writer who has had a long-standing career in the entertainment industry. He has made numerous appearances on television shows, movies, and stand-up comedy specials. Throughout his career, he has been known for his deadpan delivery and cutting wit. He is also an inspiring figure who has shared some of his most meaningful quotes over the years. Here are some of Norm Macdonald’s most inspiring quotes:
“The best advice I ever got was to just be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not.”
“If you don’t take risks, you’ll never achieve anything great.”
“You can’t please everyone; just focus on pleasing yourself.”
“It’s OK to make mistakes; they teach us valuable lessons about life.”
“Be willing to accept failure or criticism; it will make you stronger in the end.”
“There is no such thing as an overnight success; hard work and dedication are the keys to success.”
“No matter how difficult life gets, never give up on your dreams.”
The Best of Norm Macdonald’s Humor
Norm Macdonald is one of the funniest comedians of all time. His humor is both clever and irreverent, making him an enduring favorite. Whether it’s his stand-up routines, his appearances on Saturday Night Live, or his own show Norm, he has a unique way of making people laugh. From his deadpan delivery to his offbeat observations, here are some of the best examples of Norm Macdonald’s humor.
One of the hallmarks of Norm’s humor is his dry delivery. He has a way of delivering one-liners that seem almost mundane at first, but then come alive with a punchline that leaves the audience in stitches. For example, in one stand-up routine he quipped “I was watching television with my parents and I said ‘What are you watching?’ My father said ‘We’re watching a documentary about how white people are better than everyone else.” This joke relies on Norm’s delivery to make it work and it never fails to get a big laugh from the crowd.
Norm also has an uncanny ability to make fun of himself in a way that is both endearing and hilarious. In one memorable skit from Saturday Night Live he played himself as an actor appearing on a talk show and being asked by the host why he wasn’t more successful as an actor. Norm deadpans “Well I think it has something to do with my face,” eliciting big laughter from the audience as well as admiration for being able to poke fun at himself in such an effortless manner.
Norm also often uses self-deprecating humor when talking about his own life experiences or observations about society. In one stand-up bit he joked about how he spent most of his life trying to figure out what kind of person he wanted to be: “I used to spend hours staring into mirrors trying to figure out what kind of person I wanted to be…and then I realized there was no point because no matter what I did someone would still think I was an idiot!” The combination of absurdity and self-awareness makes this joke particularly funny and memorable.
Finally, Norm has made many jokes about politics over the years that have been both timely and timelessly funny. In one skit from SNL he played President Bill Clinton during a White House press briefing where he hilariously pretended not to know anything about events happening around him: “What was that? Oh right…the foreign policy stuff…uhhh…what country are we invading? Is it Iraq? Or Canada?” His offbeat take on political issues makes him one of the funniest political commentators around today.
Norm Macdonald is truly a master when it comes to comedy and humor, with an impressive repertoire that includes biting social commentary, clever wordplay, self-deprecating anecdotes, and just plain silliness. It’s little wonder why so many people have grown up loving Norm’s comedy over the years – it’s always fresh, always funny, and always worth another listen!
Conclusion
Norm Macdonald is an iconic comedian who has provided us with countless funny and memorable quotes. His words are humorous, witty, and often surprisingly insightful. He has a unique way of looking at life that is both entertaining and thought-provoking. It’s no wonder he has had such a successful career in comedy. We can learn a lot from Norm’s musings, whether it be to take life less seriously or to keep our sense of humor alive in difficult times. He reminds us not to take ourselves too seriously and to enjoy the lighter side of life.
No matter what you are going through in life, a few Norm Macdonald quotes can be just the thing to put a smile on your face and provide a little bit of comic relief. His quotes will always be remembered as some of the funniest and most impactful words ever spoken by an entertainer. So if you’re ever feeling down or need a bit of encouragement, remember what Norm said: “Life is like riding a bicycle—you never really know where you’re going until you get there.”