Maxine is an American cartoon character created by John Wagner andDesiree Keane. She is a feisty octogenarian who offers her acerbic and often hilarious view of the world. Her witty observations are shared through her one-liners and funny quotes. Maxine’s unique take on life has made her a favorite among many people, who find her outlook both entertaining and inspiring. Her words of wisdom have the power to make us laugh, think, and appreciate life in all its chaotic beauty.1. “I’m not cranky. I just have a violent reaction when I meet stupid people.”
2. “My only regret in life is that I’m not someone else.”
3. “Happy Mother’s Day to someone who’s been through more than any army.”
4. “If you can’t laugh at yourself, make fun of other people.”
5. “If you’re always trying to be normal, you’ll never know how amazing you can be.”
6. “Life isn’t divided into genres; it’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel.”
7. “There are some days when I think I’m just going to float away…but then the wrong kind of wind blows.”
8. “I don’t want to be alone; I want to be left alone!”
9. “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you!”
10. “There’s no such thing as normal; there’s just a range of acceptable weirdness”
Maxine’s Funniest Quotes About Life
Maxine is an iconic character from the long-running Hallmark card series. She is known for her witty and often hilarious quotes about life and its many quirks. Here are some of Maxine’s funniest quotes about life:
“Life is too short to hold grudges, so just let it go and move on.”
“If you can’t find the humor in life, you’re not looking hard enough.”
“Life is too short to worry about what other people think, so be yourself and do what makes you happy.”
“It’s always better to laugh than to cry, so find something funny in every situation.”
“One of the best things about life is that it’s full of surprises, so embrace the unexpected!”
“Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, but if you look hard enough you’ll find something beautiful in every day.”
“Sometimes life throws us a curve ball, but don’t forget that there’s a lesson to be learned in everything.”
“Enjoy the journey instead of focusing on the destination – it’ll make your life much more enjoyable!”
Maxine’s Funniest Quotes About Love
Maxine is a beloved character for her wit and humor, and her quotes about love are no exception. From funny one-liners to clever quips, here are some of Maxine’s funniest quotes about love:
“Love is like a roller coaster – when it’s good you don’t want to get off, and when it’s bad you can’t wait to throw up.”
“Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.”
“Love isn’t always perfect, but it’s worth fighting for.”
“The best thing about love is that it can never be spoiled by time or distance.”
“You never know how strong your love is until you have to fight for it.”
“True love doesn’t have a happy ending; true love doesn’t have an ending at all.”
Maxine’s Funniest Quotes About Aging
Maxine, the beloved character from the Hallmark comic strip “Life With Maxine”, is known for her hilarious and often true-to-life musings about life and aging. Here are some of her funniest quotes about aging:
“Getting old is not for sissies!”
“Old age ain’t no place for sissies. You’ve got to stand up and get on with it.”
“My joints may be creaky but my wit is still sharp!”
“Getting old isn’t for sissies, but it beats the alternative.”
“Age is a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
“Age is an issue of mind over matter…if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”
“You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake!”
“Age may have its limitations, but I refuse to accept them!”
Maxine’s Funniest Quotes About Work
Maxine is an iconic character known for her hilarious takes on life, and she has plenty of great quotes about work. Here are some of her funniest quotes that will make you smile and laugh:
“I’m spending a year dead for tax purposes.”
“I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.”
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?”
“If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.”
“The more you say, the less people remember.”
“The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.”
“I’m not going to say anything because nothing good ever comes out of my mouth anyway.”
“Work is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get!”
“The only reason I’m getting into shape for work is so I can fit in my cubicle better.”
Maxine’s Funniest Quotes About Money
Maxine Waters is well-known for her witty quotes about money. Here are some of her funniest quotes that will make you crack up:
“Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.”
“I’ve got my own money and I’m not afraid to spend it.”
“Money talks, and sometimes it just says ‘goodbye.'”
“Wealth is a blessing, but it can also become a curse if we don’t use it wisely.”
“Money is like a mirror – it reflects who you are and what you value in life.”
“If you want to make money, you have to take risks. And if you’re too afraid to take risks, then the only thing you can do is watch other people make money.”
Maxine’s Funniest Quotes About Men & Women
Maxine, the fictional character created by cartoonist John Wagner, is known for her witty and humorous quotes about men and women. Here are some of Maxine’s funniest quotes that will make you laugh out loud!
“Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.”
“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”
“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.”
“A woman’s favorite position is CEO.”
“Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.”
“Behind every successful man is an exhausted woman.”
“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.”
“When I look into the future, all I see is a man asking me what I want for dinner.”
Family
Maxine is well known for her dry wit and humorous take on family life. Her quotes often reflect her understanding of the complexities of family life, as well as her own unique sense of humor. From commenting on the dynamics of siblings to poking fun at parents, Maxine’s quips about family life are sure to make you chuckle.
One of Maxine’s most famous quotes about family is: “Never have more children than you have car windows”. This quote speaks to the chaotic nature of having children in the car, which is something many parents can relate to. It also serves as a reminder that having too many kids in one vehicle can be dangerous!
Another popular quote from Maxine about family is: “If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says ‘keep away from children'”. This witty quote speaks to the often overwhelming feeling many parents feel when dealing with their children’s antics. It also serves as a reminder that sometimes taking a break from parenting can be beneficial.
Finally, one of Maxine’s most relatable quotes about families is: “The only way I can get some privacy around here is to lock myself in the bathroom”. This quote speaks to how difficult it can be for parents to find some alone time with so many people around. It also serves as a reminder that it’s important for parents to take time for themselves when they need it.
Friends
Maxine also has plenty of hilarious quotes about friendship and relationships. From making fun of bad friendships to pointing out how complicated even good ones can be, Maxine’s quips will make you laugh and think at the same time.
One of Maxine’s funniest quotes about friends is: “My friends come over and they leave…but not before they take everything out of my refrigerator”. This quote speaks volumes about bad friendships and how quickly people can take advantage of friendships without realizing it. It also serves as a reminder that good friends don’t take more than what they give.
Another popular quote from Maxine about friendship is: “A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down”. This wise quote speaks volumes about how true friends will always support each other no matter what, even if it means getting out of their own way at times! It also serves as a reminder that real friends want us to succeed no matter what.
Finally, one of Maxine’s most memorable quotes about friendships is: “A friend hears the song in your heart and sings it back to you when you have forgotten how it goes”. This sweet quote speaks volumes about how important true friends are in our lives. It also serves as a reminder that we should never forget how lucky we are to have such wonderful people in our lives!
Conclusion
Maxine’s funny quotes have been a source of joy and entertainment for many people. She has a way of saying things that make people laugh, and her humor is universal. Her quotes are inspirational, thought provoking, and often contain wisdom. From her wise words to her playful puns, Maxine is always sure to make us laugh and think. Her ability to find the humor in everyday situations can help lighten the mood and provide us with a much-needed break from reality. Whether you’re looking for something to get you through a tough day or just need a little levity in your life, Maxine’s quotes are sure to bring a smile to your face.
Maxine has shown that laughter truly is the best medicine, and she is an expert at making people smile. Her quotes remind us not to take life too seriously but to find joy in the small moments. So take some time out of your day to appreciate Maxine’s wit and wisdom – it just may be what you need!