Jokes about stalkers can be a great way to lighten the mood and get a few laughs. Stalking is an issue that affects many people each day, and it’s important to take it seriously. That said, joking about it can be a good way to diffuse tension, show understanding of the severity of the issue, and even help those affected by stalking to come to terms with their experiences. While there are no one-size-fits-all jokes about stalkers, there are some that are sure to get some chuckles from your audience.1. “What do you call a stalker who’s following you in a car? A tailgater!”
2. “What do you call a stalker who follows you home from work? A commute-mate!”
3. “What do you call a stalker who follows you around the mall? A shop-a-long buddy!”
4. “Why did the stalker cross the street? To follow his victim on the other side!”
5. “How does the stalker get to know his victims so well? By stalking them of course!”
6. “Why don’t stalkers like to go to the beach? Because they can’t keep their eyes off their victims!”
7. “Why did the stalker buy binoculars? To zoom in on his victims!”
8. “Why did the stalker carry a map around town? So he could find his way back to his victim’s house!”
9. “Why don’t stalkers wear sunglasses? So they can see their victims better!”
10. “What do you get when you cross a stalker with an obsessive compulsive disorder? A really creepy person who follows people around and tidies up after them too!”
Hilarious Jokes About Stalkers
Stalkers can be a frightening reality for many people, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be the butt of a few jokes. Here are ten of the funniest jokes about stalkers that you can share with your friends.
First up is an old classic: “Why did the stalker cross the road? To stalk the other chicken.” This joke never gets old and always gets a few laughs.
Next, there’s this one: “What do you call a stalker who follows you everywhere? A shadow!” This joke is sure to get some chuckles from your audience.
Third, there’s this joke: “What did the stalker say when he saw his victim? ‘I’m just following orders!'” This one will surely get some groans as well as some laughs.
Fourth, here’s one for those who like puns: “Why did the stalker stop stalking? Because his victim had gone off radar!” This one might take a few moments for people to get, but it will be worth it when they do.
Fifth on our list is this gem: “What did the police officer say to the stalker? ‘You’re under arrest for stalking!'”. Everyone loves a good cop joke, and this one is no exception!
Sixth we have this one: “What did the stalker say when he was caught by his victim? ‘I was just trying to find out if you still love me!'” This joke might be a bit dark humor, but it will definitely get some laughter.
Seventh is another old classic: “Why did the stalker keep following his victim everywhere? Because he was obsessed!” Most people will recognize this classic and laugh along with it.
Eighth is this gem: “What did the stalker say when asked why he was following his victim? ‘It’s my job!'”. This joke plays on the idea that some people actually make money from stalking!
Ninth we have this one: “Why does every stalker need a map? Because they don’t want to miss their target!”.This joke plays on how detailed stalkers must be in order to stay undetected.
Finally, here’s our last hilarious joke about stalkers: “How do you know if someone’s stalking you? They’re always one step behind!” This joke is sure to bring out some laughter and make everyone smile.
Funny Jokes About Stalkers That Will Have You Laughing Out Loud
Stalking can be a serious issue, but that doesn’t mean you can’t laugh about it! Here are some funny jokes about stalkers that will have you laughing out loud.
First up is the classic “why don’t stalkers take vacations?” The answer: “because they’re afraid someone else will find out where they live.”
Another one is “why do stalkers never get invited to parties?” The answer: “Because they always follow people home afterwards.”
And for the dads out there, here’s a joke for you: “Why don’t fathers worry about their kids being stalked?” The answer: “Because they know their kids can take care of themselves!”
For the tech-savvy, here’s a joke about using technology as an anti-stalking tool: “Why did the stalker buy an iPhone?” The answer: “So he could track his victims without them knowing!”
Finally, here’s one for the conspiracy theorists: “Why did the stalker join a cult?” The answer: “So he could keep an eye on all of his followers at once!”
So remember, just because stalking is serious doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun with it. Try telling some of these jokes and see how many laughs you get!
Dark Jokes About Stalkers That Will Make You Cringe
Stalking is a serious offence, but it can sometimes be hard not to laugh at the irony of some of these situations. Here are nine dark jokes about stalkers that will make you cringe:
1. Why did the stalker cross the road? To watch the person on the other side.
2. What did one stalker say to the other? “We have so much in common.”
3. Why don’t stalkers take vacations? They’re afraid someone else will come and take their place.
4. How do you stop a stalker? Put them on a watch list!
5. What did the stalker say when he saw his target walking down the street? “I’ve been following you for miles!”
6. What did the stalker say when they saw their target’s new car? “Wow, that’s a nice ride!”
7. How do you know if someone is a stalker? They keep showing up in places you didn’t expect them to be.
8. What did one stalker say to another? “I’ll follow you wherever you go.”
9. What did the stalker say when they finally caught up with their target? “It’s about time!”
Silly Jokes About Stalkers To Lighten Up Any Conversation
Stalkers can be creepy and unsettling, but you can use silly jokes about them to lighten up a conversation. Here are 8 funny jokes about stalkers that will have everyone laughing:
1) What did the stalker say to the tree? “I’d love to give you a hug!”
2) How do you keep a stalker away? Hide your address book!
3) What did the stalker say when he got caught? “Oh deer!”
4) Why did the stalker cross the road? To get to the other creep!
5) What did the stalker say after he was arrested? “I’m not following you, I’m just walking behind you.”
6) What did the stalker always forget? His own name!
7) What did the police officer tell the stalker? “Stop following me or I’ll arrest you!”
8) Why didn’t the stalker go to school? He was afraid of detention!
7 Witty Jokes About Stalkers To Crack Up Your Friends
Stalkers don’t usually make for the most amusing material, but if you know how to craft a clever joke about it, you can definitely get your friends laughing. Here are seven witty jokes about stalkers that will make your friends chuckle:
1. Why don’t stalkers believe in ghosts? Because they always see themselves wherever they go!
2. What did the stalker say when asked why he was following his victim? “I’m just trying to get to know them better.”
3. How do you stop a stalker? Tell them you’re already being followed!
4. What did the stalker say when asked why he was following his victim? “It’s a free country. I can follow whoever I want.”
5. What do you call a stalker who can’t keep up with his victim? A failed follower!
6. Why did the stalker cross the road? He wanted to get closer to his victim!
7. What did the stalker say when asked why he was following his victim? “I’m just keeping an eye on them!”
Corny Jokes About Stalkers
What did the stalker say to his victim? “You must really love me, because you keep coming back!”
Why did the stalker cross the road? To follow his victim on the other side!
What did the stalker say when his victim caught him red-handed? “Oh, I’m just checking up on you!”
Why don’t stalkers ever have any friends? Because they always want to keep their victims to themselves!
What did one stalker say to another stalker? “Let’s go get a latte and then follow her!”
Why did the stalker get arrested? Because he was caught in a compromising position!
Absurd Jokes About Stalkers To Test Your Sense Of Humor
Stalking is a serious issue that should never be taken lightly. However, sometimes, adding a bit of humor can help take the edge off a difficult situation. Here are five absurd jokes about stalkers to test your sense of humor:
1. What did the stalker say when he followed someone into a dark alley? “It’s just me and you now!”
2. What did the stalker say when his victim asked him why he was following them? “I just wanted to make sure you weren’t alone!”
3. What did the stalker say when he got caught following someone? “I was just trying to get closer to you!”
4. How does a stalker show his love for someone? By tracking their every move!
5. Why did the stalker keep following his victim? He was too scared to let go!
Conclusion
Jokes about stalkers can be both humorous and informative. They help us to understand the reality of stalking, as well as the danger and fear that can be associated with it. They can also provide an opportunity for people to talk openly about this issue in a safe and comfortable way. At the same time, it is important to remember that stalking is a serious problem and should not be taken lightly. Those who are victims of stalking should seek professional help in order to ensure their safety and well-being.
In conclusion, jokes about stalkers can help us to understand the reality of this serious crime, while providing a comedic outlet for those who need it. Whether used as a form of lighthearted entertainment or as a means of educating others, these jokes can play an important role in addressing the issue of stalking.