Henny Youngman was an American comedian and violinist who was best known for his one-liners. His wit and humor made him a popular figure in stand-up comedy. He often referred to himself as “King of the One-Liners” and many of his famous quotes have become iconic. From jokes about marriage to life in general, Henny Youngman was a master of delivering humorous sound bites. His legacy has been carried on by generations of comedians who have made use of his famous quotes.1. “Take my wife – please!”
2. “I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous – everyone hasn’t met me yet.”
3. “My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.”
4. “I just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.”
5. “Time flies like an arrow; Fruit flies like a banana.”
6. “A few more days and my probation will be over…then I’ll be back in the slammer!”
7. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.”
8. “My wife and I were happy for twenty years – then we met.”
9. “My grandfather is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses…Drinks right out of the bottle!”
10. “My wife has a slight impediment in her speech…Every now and then she stops to breathe!”
The Best of Henny Youngman’s Humor
Henny Youngman was a beloved American comedian who had a knack for delivering witty one-liners that still bring smiles to people’s faces today. Youngman used his dry sense of humor to deliver a variety of punchlines, jokes, and witticisms that remain popular among comedy fans. His classic style of comedy has been cited as an influence on numerous modern comedians. Here is a look at some of the best of Henny Youngman’s humor.
One-Liners
Henny Youngman was known for his countless one-liners that were often delivered with perfect timing and impeccable delivery. Some of his most famous one-liners include “Take my wife… please!”, “I just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport!”, and “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading!”. These classic one-liners still make audiences laugh today.
Observational Humor
In addition to his one-liners, Henny Youngman was known for his observational humor. He was able to cleverly comment on everyday situations in a way that made them both relatable and hilarious. One example is when he said, “My psychiatrist told me I’m going crazy…I told him I want a second opinion! He said okay…you’re ugly too!”. This type of humor is still popular today as it can be applied to any situation in life.
Storytelling
Henny Youngman could also tell stories that had audiences in stitches with laughter. His stories were often humorous tales about everyday life or silly situations that people could relate to. One example is when he said, “A man walks into a bar and says ‘Ouch!'”. This classic story would leave audiences in fits of laughter due to its simple yet clever premise.
Henny Youngman will always be remembered for his unique brand of comedy which still resonates with people today. Whether you prefer one-liners, observational humor or storytelling, there is something for everyone in the best of Henny Youngman’s humor.
The Funniest Henny Youngman Jokes
Henny Youngman was one of the greatest comedians of all time, and he left us with some of the funniest jokes ever told. He was famous for delivering his punchlines in a deadpan manner, and his jokes could be hilarious even without a lot of setup. Here are some of his funniest jokes that will have you laughing out loud.
“Take my wife… please!” This is one of Henny Youngman’s most famous lines, and it’s still funny today. It’s a classic example of his quick wit and delivery, which made him so popular with audiences.
“I just got back from a pleasure trip – I took my mother-in-law to the airport.” This joke is another classic example of Henny Youngman’s dry wit and sense of humor. It’s a perfect example of how he could take an ordinary situation and make it into something hilarious.
“I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.” This is another great example of Henny Youngman’s ability to take an ordinary situation and turn it into something hilarious. The joke works because it plays on the idea that dieting often leads to people feeling tired or sluggish, but this joke turns that idea on its head.
“My wife and I were happy for twenty years – then we met.” This is another classic Henny Youngman joke that still gets laughs today. It plays on the idea that relationships can be complicated, but can also be incredibly rewarding if you find someone who truly understands you.
“My psychiatrist said to me: ‘Maybe life isn’t for everyone.’ So I said: ‘Maybe you’re right.'” This is another great example of Henny Youngman’s ability to take an ordinary situation and make it funny by adding his own unique twist on it. The joke works because it plays on the idea that life can be hard at times, but it can also be incredibly rewarding if you find someone who truly understands you.
Hilarious One-Liners From Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman was one of America’s favorite comedians and his one-liners are still remembered and quoted today. His jokes were usually short, snappy, and often self-deprecating. Here are some of his most memorable one-liners:
“Take my wife… Please!” This classic line has been quoted by everyone from stand-up comedians to politicians. It is a great example of how Youngman could make a joke out of even the most mundane situation.
“My father used to say ‘Son, money doesn’t grow on trees.’ I never did figure out what he meant by that!” This line is another example of Youngman’s ability to take an everyday phrase and turn it into a hilarious joke.
“I took my wife out for dinner last night. The food was so bad she sent it back twice!” This joke not only shows off Youngman’s wit but also speaks to the state of the restaurant industry at the time.
“I once said ‘If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again’. Then I realized I was talking to a brick wall.” Here, Youngman is poking fun at himself for trying to give someone advice that they didn’t need or want.
Henny Youngman’s one-liners are still quoted today and serve as a reminder of how comedy can be used to make light of any situation. His clever wit and self-deprecating humor will be remembered for generations to come.
Timeless Wisdom From the King of the One-Liners
Oscar Wilde is renowned for his captivating one-liners that have stood the test of time. His words of wisdom have been quoted and cherished for generations. Here are some timeless pieces of advice from the King of the One-Liners:
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
This timeless piece of advice encourages us to be proud of who we are and celebrate our unique qualities. It’s also a reminder to stay true to ourselves and not try to emulate anyone else, as it will only lead to disappointment.
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”
This quote serves as a reminder to make each day count by living life to its fullest potential. Instead of simply going through the motions, we should strive to make meaningful connections with others and pursue activities that bring us joy. Life can be short, so it’s important to seize every opportunity and make memories that will last a lifetime.
“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.”
While this quote could be interpreted in different ways, at its core it encourages us not to resist temptation but rather acknowledge it and use it as an opportunity for growth. By embracing our temptations instead of fighting them, we can learn more about ourselves and become better versions of ourselves in the process.
“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
This quote speaks volumes about resilience and determination in spite of difficult circumstances. It reminds us that no matter how low we may feel at times, we should never forget our dreams and aspirations. It also highlights how even when faced with adversity, there is always something worth striving for if we look hard enough.
Classic Quotes From the Late Great Henny Youngman
Henny Youngman, also known as the “King of the One-Liners,” was a legendary comedian who was famous for his hilarious jokes and witticisms. He was even once quoted as saying “Take my wife – please!” His one-liners are still popular today, and many of his jokes are timeless classics. Here are some of Henny Youngman’s most memorable quotes:
“I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.”
“I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me!”
“My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.”
“I asked my doctor if I could get a vasectomy. He said ‘Sure, you can have one, but it won’t change anything.'”
“My psychiatrist said I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay – you’re ugly too!”
“My wife and I were happy for twenty years – then we met.”
Henny Youngman’s humor is timeless, and his one-liners still bring smiles to people’s faces decades after he first uttered them. His wit and charm will live on in our memories forever!
Take My Wife
One of Henny Youngman’s most famous lines was “Take my wife… please!” and it has become an iconic phrase in the world of comedy. This line, and many others like it, demonstrate his ability to turn an otherwise mundane situation into a hilarious joke. His other famous lines include “My doctor told me I had to stop playing soccer because I was too old. So I said ‘OK, Doc, if you can’t join ’em, beat ’em'”, and “I just got back from a pleasure trip – I took my mother-in-law to the airport”. All of these jokes demonstrate Youngman’s genius for delivering quick one-liners that always manage to put a smile on the faces of his audience.
Advice
Beyond his comedic genius, Henny Youngman also gave some great advice throughout his career as a stand-up comedian. He believed that being able to laugh at yourself is key to having a successful life and career. He said, “If you can laugh at yourself, you’ll never cease to be amused”, which is certainly true. He also believed that it was important to be able to take criticism in stride and learn from your mistakes. As he put it, “It’s not how far you fall; it’s how high you bounce”.
Proverbs
Henny Youngman was also known for his witty proverbs on life and love. One of his most famous proverbs was “Love thy neighbor – but don’t get caught”. This quote is funny but also has some truth behind it – we should show kindness towards our neighbors but not get too involved in their personal affairs! Another great proverb of his was “Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today” – this is something we should all keep in mind when facing tasks or chores that need to be done!
The Greatest Hits of Henny Youngman’s Comedy
Henny Youngman is an iconic figure in the world of comedy. He is credited with popularizing the one-liner, a style of joke that has been adopted by countless comedians since. His signature delivery and wit have made him one of the most beloved figures in the industry, and he has been a major influence on generations of comedians. From his classic “Take My Wife, Please!” to his timeless advice on relationships, Henny Youngman is known for some of the funniest jokes ever written. Here are some of his greatest hits:
“Take my wife … please!” This classic line from Henny Youngman has become a staple of comedy for decades. The joke works because it plays on the idea that marriage can be difficult at times and having someone else take your spouse off your hands can be a welcome relief. It’s also a clever wordplay on the phrase “take my advice,” which makes it even funnier.
“I just got back from a pleasure trip – I took my mother-in-law to the airport.” This joke is another classic from Henny Youngman that plays on the idea that in-laws can be difficult to deal with at times. It’s not only funny but also relatable, as many people have experienced similar scenarios when dealing with their own in-laws.
“I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.” This punch line from one of Henny Youngman’s jokes perfectly captures his comic timing and wit. It pokes fun at family dynamics while making light of being taken advantage of or taken for granted by others.
“My wife and I were happy for twenty years … then we met.” This simple yet clever line speaks volumes about relationships and how they can evolve over time. It’s a perfect example of how Henny could take everyday situations and turn them into something hilarious yet thought provoking.
Henny Youngman’s comedy has stood the test of time, remaining as funny now as when he first uttered these lines decades ago. His wry observations about relationships, family dynamics, and life in general are timeless gems that will continue to put smiles on people’s faces for years to come!
Conclusion
Henny Youngman’s quotes are some of the most memorable and timeless jokes ever written. His unique wit and mastery of the one-liner have left a lasting impression on audiences across the world. Even though he is no longer with us, his legacy lives on in his words. Through his wit and humor, Youngman has given us a way to reflect upon our own lives and find humor in the everyday. We can all learn to laugh at ourselves and enjoy life more by applying some of Youngman’s wisdom to our own lives.
Youngman’s enduring legacy will continue to be a source of entertainment for generations to come. There is no better way to honor his memory than by enjoying the jokes he left behind. His timeless quips remind us that life is too short not to live it with laughter and joy. So let’s take a moment to raise a glass in honor of Henny Youngman, the man who taught us all how to laugh at life’s little imperfections.