George Carlin was an American comedian, actor, social critic, and writer who is considered one of the greatest and most influential stand-up comedians of all time. He was known for his dark, irreverent humor and commentary on politics, language, psychology, religion and many other topics. His quotes are as funny and thought-provoking today as they were when he first said them. Here are some of the best George Carlin quotes that will make you laugh out loud and think deeply.”Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” – George Carlin
George Carlin Quotes on Religion
George Carlin was one of the most influential and iconic comedians of all time. His sharp wit and biting social commentary often pointed out the hypocrisies in modern society, particularly those related to religion. Here are some of George Carlin’s most memorable quotes about religion:
“Religion is a monument to the ignorance of our ancestors.”
“Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time! But He loves you.”
“Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers.”
“Religion is just mind control.”
“I don’t believe in God because I don’t believe in Mother Goose.”
“God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.”
“The only thing wrong with Christianity is that it’s not true. If it were true, it would be a good thing—but it ain’t true.”
These are just a few of George Carlin’s many quotes on religion. His words still remain relevant today, as people continue to grapple with their beliefs about faith and spirituality.
George Carlin Quotes on Humanity
Humans have been pondering the true nature of humanity since the dawn of time. George Carlin, one of the most influential comedians and social commentators of our generation, had a lot to say about this topic. Here are some of his most memorable quotes on humanity that will make you think:
“The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, ‘You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.'”
“If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.”
“Think off-center. If you don’t go too far you’ll never know how far you can go.”
“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
“People are certainly a lot more gullible than they used to be. It used to be a rule of thumb if something was too good to be true it probably was. Now, if something is too good to be true it still might be true!”
“The very existence of flame throwers proves that some time, somewhere someone said ‘I want to set those people over there on fire but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.'”
“We are constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which people are making for you the way they make those Wonder Bread commercials. Just as insulting and humiliating as all those Mr. Goodwrench commercials were.”
“If you try to fail and succeed what have you done?” <
George Carlin Quotes on Politics
George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, and social critic known for his dark and sharp humor. He often used his comedy to address controversial topics, including politics. Here are some of George Carlin’s most memorable quotes about politics:
“Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.”
“The politicians were talking themselves red, white and blue in the face.”
“In America, anyone can become President. That’s the problem.”
“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
“The reason they call it ‘the American Dream’ is because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
“If voting changed anything, they’d make it illegal.”
“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
“The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves: ‘You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.'”
“I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.”
George Carlin certainly had a unique view on politics and how society works. His words still resonate today and offer an insight into how our political system functions.
George Carlin Quotes on Government
George Carlin was a noted American comedian, actor, author, and social critic who had some incredibly quotable thoughts on government. Here are some of his most famous quotes about the government:
“The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don’t. You have no choice. You have owners. They own you. They own everything.”
“If you think the system is working, ask yourself why there are still millions of poor people in the country.”
“Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.”
“I think people want change but they don’t know what kind of change they want so they vote for someone who promises them change and then when they get it they don’t like it because it wasn’t what they had in mind.”
“Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are no rivers.”
“We’re so deep in debt that we can’t even see the bottom of the hole anymore.”
“The government has become an expert at deflecting our attention away from its own misdeeds and toward whatever other issue will keep us from looking too closely at what’s really going on.”
George Carlin Quotes on Technology
George Carlin, the famous American stand-up comedian, had a lot of insightful and humorous things to say about technology. Here are some of his most memorable quotes on technology:
“Technology is just a way of making human laziness more efficient.”
“Technology has made it possible for you to be lazy and entertained at the same time.”
“Technology is like a drug. Once you start using it, you can’t live without it.”
“Technology changes so quickly that you never really know what’s going to happen next.”
“The danger with technology is that it can be used for good or evil.”
“Technology has made life easier in some ways, but it’s also made us more dependent on machines and less dependent on each other.”
“Technology should be used to make life more enjoyable, not as a substitute for human interaction and relationships.”
George Carlin was an astute observer of the impact that technology has had on society. His insights are still relevant today as we continue to grapple with the implications of technological advancements.
George Carlin Quotes on Economics
George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic who is best remembered for his irreverent attitude and biting criticism of society. He had a lot to say about modern economics and the way it works. Here are some of his most famous quotes on economics:
“The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
“The business of America is business. That’s why there’s so much business in America.”
“A recession is when your neighbor loses his job; a depression is when you lose yours.”
“The only difference between a rich person and a poor person is how much money they have.”
“We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take time to enjoy where we are.”
“The wealthy have figured out that if you leave the other 99% arguing over the crumbs from the table, they won’t be paying attention to who’s at the table taking the bread.”
George Carlin Quotes on Language and Words
George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and social critic who had a unique ability to make people laugh by making them think about language and words. He made us aware of the power of words to shape our lives and our world. Here are some of his most memorable quotes about language and words:
“Never underestimate the power of words. They can be like a sharp knife, cutting deep into the heart of our emotions.”
“Our language contains many layers of meaning. This richness is one of its greatest gifts, and it’s also one of its greatest challenges.”
“Words have the power to create or destroy. Choose yours wisely.”
“Language is like a playground—it’s fun to explore but don’t get lost in it!”
“Be careful how you use words; they can hurt or heal.”
“Words are like paint—they can make a picture come alive or dull it down.”
“We must never forget that language is the tool we use to communicate with each other. It needs to be used with respect and care.”
Conclusion
George Carlin’s quotes offer insight into the human condition. They are not only witty and humorous, but they also show us a deeper understanding of life. They can show us how to think more critically about our current situation and be inspired to make the necessary changes. George Carlin’s quotes are timeless and will continue to affect generations of people for years to come. His messages are powerful and full of wisdom, making them an essential part of modern-day culture.
George Carlin was a unique individual who had an extraordinary ability to bring out the best in others. His words will remain with us for many years, and they will continue to inspire us in our daily lives. Through his quotes, we can remember his legacy and keep his spirit alive by continuing to push ourselves towards achieving greatness.