Gangster funny quotes are a great way to add some humor and wit to any conversation. Whether you’re looking for something to lighten the mood or just want to have a laugh, gangster funny quotes are sure to do the trick. With their unique blend of wit, humor, and street-smart edge, these quotes will have everyone in stitches. So take a look at some classic gangster funny quotes and see what you can come up with!”If you can’t make it in the streets, you’ll never make it in the sheets.”
Hilarious Quotes From Famous Gangsters
The world of the mafia and organized crime is an often-glamorous one, with a unique kind of humor to match. From gangster to mob boss, these famous criminals have left behind some truly hilarious quotes. Here are some of the best:
Al Capone famously said, “You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.” This is one of the most well-known quotes from the notorious gangster and mob boss, who was active during the Prohibition era in America.
Famous mob boss John Gotti had an equally memorable quote: “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.” The quote has become iconic in popular culture and has been referenced in countless movies, television shows, and books.
Bugsy Siegel is another famous gangster who left behind some great lines. One of his most famous quotes is “I only kill people I don’t like” – a darkly humorous line that sums up his reputation as one of the most ruthless mobsters in history.
Sammy “The Bull” Gravano had a more lighthearted quote: “I never killed anyone who didn’t deserve it.” While this line may sound morbid at first glance, it reflects Gravano’s own sense of justice – as he saw it – during his time as an associate of the Gambino crime family in New York City.
Finally, there’s Lucky Luciano’s wry comment: “Don’t ever underestimate the power of fear. It’s like a virus that can spread from person to person until it paralyzes everyone around you.” This quote speaks to Luciano’s status as one of the most powerful figures in organized crime and his ability to use fear as a tool for control.
Share a Laugh With These Witty Gangster Sayings
Gangster sayings have been around for a long time, and they are often used to make light of a situation. They can also be used to express feelings or emotions in a humorous way. Here are some of the most popular and witty gangster sayings that you can use to put a smile on someone’s face.
“Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” This is an old saying that has been used by gangsters for decades. It means that you should keep those who may be your enemies close, so that you can observe their movements and stay aware of their intentions.
“Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight.” This is another clever saying which implies that it is wise to come prepared for any situation. If someone is trying to fight you with weapons, then it would be foolish not to bring something more powerful than what they have.
“The bigger they are, the harder they fall.” This phrase is usually used to describe someone who has achieved greatness, only to have it suddenly taken away from them. It serves as a reminder that no one is invincible, and everyone has their limits.
“You snooze, you lose.” This popular phrase means that if someone takes too long to make up their mind or act on an opportunity, then they will likely miss out on it completely. It serves as motivation for people who want to seize opportunities instead of waiting around for them.
“Business before pleasure.” This saying means that work should always come first before any other activities or engagements. It encourages people not to get sidetracked by fun activities when there are important tasks at hand that need taking care of first.
“Better safe than sorry.” This well-known phrase means that it’s better to err on the side of caution rather than taking risks which could lead to dangerous consequences. It encourages people not to take unnecessary chances and instead play it safe when in doubt.
These are just some of the many witty gangster sayings out there that you can use in conversation or text messages with friends and family members. They help lighten the mood in conversations and add some humor into the mix as well!
Make ’em Laugh With These Iconic Gangster Jokes
Gangsters have a reputation for being tough, but that doesn’t mean they can’t laugh at themselves. From mob bosses to small-time crooks, these jokes are sure to make any gangster chuckle. So if you want to get in with the mob, here are some iconic gangster jokes that will make them crack up.
Q: What do you call a mafia member in jail?
A: A convictor!
Q: What did the mob boss say when he heard his accountant had been kidnapped?
A: “Where’s my money?!”
Q: How do gangsters refer to their cars?
A: Wheels!
Q: What did the mob boss say when he heard his bodyguard had quit?
A: “You don’t need protection from me!”
Q: What kind of car does a gangster drive?
A: A getaway car!
Get a Chuckle Out of These Epic Gangster Puns
Gangsters may have a reputation for being tough and serious, but they also have an unexpected sense of humor. If you’re looking for some funny gangster puns to add a bit of levity to your day, you’ve come to the right place. Here are some of the best gangster puns around that you can use to get a few laughs and lighten the mood.
What did the mafia boss say when he found out his lieutenant was stealing from him? “You gonna get capicola!”
What did the mob boss say when he caught one of his henchmen taking bribes? “That’s one way to earn double-crossing dough!”
Why did the mobsters decide not to rob the bank? Because it was too “risotto” for them!
What did the mobster say when he was offered a slice of pizza? “I’ll take it al dente!”
Why did the mobster get thrown out of the casino? Because he kept asking for “odds-on favorites!”
What did the don tell his underlings when they were planning a heist? “Let’s make sure we pull this off without any cannoli!”
Why did the mobsters give up their plans to rob a jewelry store? They said it was too “ricotta” for them!
Put a Smile on Your Face With These Funniest Mob Boss Quotes
Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in the same rut and need something to break up the monotony? Why not do it with a few laughs? Mob boss quotes are the perfect way to get a chuckle out of your day. Whether you’re looking for something to make you smile or just want to lighten up your mood, these funniest mob boss quotes will do the trick.
From the wise words of Don Corleone to the comical remarks of Tony Montana, there are plenty of mob boss quotes that can bring some levity into your life. Here are some of the best:
“Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” – Don Corleone from The Godfather
This classic quote from Don Corleone is often used in business circles and speaks volumes about how you should handle your relationships with others. It’s a great reminder that even though someone may be an adversary, it doesn’t mean that you can’t learn from them and even gain something from having them as an enemy.
“Say hello to my little friend!” – Tony Montana from Scarface
This famous line is one of Tony Montana’s most memorable moments in Scarface and has been quoted countless times over the years. It shows how important it is to stand up for yourself and fight for what you believe in, no matter who might be standing in your way.
“Italians don’t take orders; we give them. ” – Don Fanucci from The Godfather Part II
This quote serves as an important reminder that even though we may have different backgrounds and cultures, we should never let anyone take away our power or control us with fear tactics. This quote is especially powerful when it comes to standing up for yourself and asserting your own authority.
These hilarious mob boss quotes are sure to put a smile on your face and brighten up your day. So, next time you need a quick pick-me-up, why not take a look at these classic lines? You never know what kind of wisdom or comedy they may bring!
Most Hilarious Mob Movie Lines from the Biggest Gangsters
Mafia movies are known for their intense action, gritty violence, and captivating stories. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have a few laugh-out-loud moments. From the Godfather to Goodfellas, mob movies are full of some of the most memorable quotes in cinematic history. Here are some of the most hilarious mob movie lines from the biggest gangsters.
“Leave the gun. Take the cannoli.” This iconic line from The Godfather has become one of the most famous mafia movie quotes ever uttered. It was spoken by Peter Clemenza, played by Richard S. Castellano, as he left a room after a gangland killing.
Another classic line comes from Joe Pesci’s character in Goodfellas, Tommy DeVito: “Funny how? I mean funny like I’m a clown? I amuse you?” This is a great example of what makes Pesci such an unforgettable actor: his ability to turn an ordinary line into something that is both menacing and hilarious at the same time.
Perhaps one of Al Pacino’s most memorable lines comes from The Godfather Part II: “Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” Not only does this quote illustrate Pacino’s talent for delivering powerful lines, but it also serves as a timeless piece of wisdom applicable to anyone who is navigating a difficult situation in life or business.
Lastly, there’s Vito Corleone from The Godfather: “I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.” This is another classic line that has become synonymous with mafia movies and has been parodied many times over in popular culture.
Overall, mob movies are full of some truly hilarious lines that have stood the test of time and become part of popular culture. Whether it’s Al Pacino’s iconic words or Joe Pesci’s unique delivery, these lines will continue to be quoted for generations to come.
The Funniest One-Liners From Notorious Criminals
Criminals are not usually known for their sense of humor, but some have made headlines for the funny one-liners they’ve uttered. From clever retorts to witty comebacks, these criminals have proved that even those who break the law can still crack a joke. Here are some of the funniest one-liners from notorious criminals.
When asked why he was carrying an unloaded gun, gangster Al Capone explained “You never know who you’re gonna meet.” He also famously said “If I don’t get my money, I’ll make your life miserable.”
John Dillinger, another notorious gangster of the early 20th century, said “I rob banks because that’s where the money is.” He also joked after being arrested “Don’t shoot! I’m John Dillinger!”
Australian bank robber and outlaw Ned Kelly had a unique sense of humor. When asked why he robbed banks, he joked “Because that’s where they keep the money!” He even had a witty response when his lawyer suggested he plead guilty: “Not guilty – wouldn’t be here if I was guilty!”
John Wilkes Booth had a humorous response when asked if he was part of a conspiracy to kill President Abraham Lincoln. He quipped “Conspiracy? No! This is a one-man job.” His last words before being shot by Union soldiers were reportedly “Useless, useless.”
When accused of stealing $17 million dollars in an elaborate scheme to defraud investors, small-time swindler Frank Abagnale responded with “It wasn’t 17 million dollars – it was only 14 million!” He also told authorities “I just want to say one thing… catch me if you can!”
English criminal Jack Sheppard was known for his clever escapes from prison and his jokes about his crimes. After being convicted of burglary and sent to Newgate Prison in London in 1724, he cracked “Gentlemen, you may now go away…as I am sure you cannot find any more felons here!” And after being tried for stealing clothing from an apprentice tailor and found not guilty due to lack of evidence he humorously remarked: “If there had been more evidence against me I should not have been acquitted so easily!”
These humorous remarks from notorious criminals certainly prove that even those who break the law can still have a sense of humor.
Conclusion
Gangster funny quotes can be a great way to add some humor to an otherwise stressful day. They can also be used as a tool to remind us that life is too short not to enjoy it. These quotes can help us to take a step back from our troubles, and laugh at the absurdity of life. Whether we need a good laugh, wisdom, or just something to remind us of the value of laughter, gangster funny quotes have something for everyone.
Overall, Gangster funny quotes can be an invaluable resource for anyone looking for a little bit of humor in their life. So if you are ever feeling overwhelmed with the stress of life, take some time out and enjoy some gangster funny quotes. You never know what kind of wisdom might be waiting for you.