Welcome to the world of funny and sexy quotes! Whether you’re looking for saucy one-liners to make your partner blush, or cheeky puns to crack up your friends, you’ve come to the right place. Here, you’ll find a selection of humorous quotations that will make any situation a little bit more fun. From light-hearted jokes to provocative remarks, these funny sexy quotes will add a naughty spark of humor to your conversations. So don’t be shy – let your wild side out and enjoy yourself!1. “Sex is like playing bridge: if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.” -Woody Allen
2. “Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.” -Garrison Keillor
3. “Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.” -George Burns
4. “I think that the best way to keep a man is to keep him guessing – and I’m full of surprises!” -Marilyn Monroe
5. “My husband and I fell in love at first sight… maybe I should have taken a second look.” -Anonymous
6. “It’s not true that I had nothing on, I had the radio on.” –Marilyn Monroe
7. “People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.” –Dale Carnegie
8. “A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea.” -Honore de Balzac
9. “Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.”- Mae West
10. “Life is too short for long-term grudges.”- Robin Williams
Funny Quotes
We all need a good laugh from time to time. A funny quote can help break the ice, lighten up a conversation, or just make you smile. Here are some of our favorite funny quotes that will have you chuckling in no time:
“Life is too important to be taken seriously.” – Oscar Wilde
“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin
“You don’t stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.” – Michael Pritchard
“Laughter is the closest distance between two people.” – Victor Borge
“A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke and that the joke is oneself.” – Clifton Fadiman
Sexy Quotes
Sexy quotes can help fuel your passion for your significant other. Whether it’s for him or for her, these sexy quotes are sure to reignite the spark in your relationship. Here are some of our favorites:
“I want to do naughty things with you.” – Unknown
“I could stare into your eyes forever.” – Unknown
“Let’s get physical, physical … I wanna get physical, let’s get into physical!” – Olivia Newton John
“I’m in love with you and all your little things.” – Unknown
“Come live in my heart and pay no rent.” – Unknown
The Best of Both Worlds: Funny and Sexy Quotes
It’s not often that you can find something that is both funny and sexy at the same time, but quotes can do just that. Whether you are looking for a laugh or something to spark up your relationship, these funny and sexy quotes will help you find the perfect words.
When it comes to funny quotes, there’s nothing better than a good laugh. These hilarious one-liners will have everyone in stitches. “A woman is like a tea bag – you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water” (Eleanor Roosevelt). Or, “If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving isn’t for you!” (Anonymous).
On the other hand, if you are looking for something more romantic and sexy, then look no further than these sultry quotes. “I want to be the reason for your smile when you wake up in the morning” (Anonymous). Or, “The best thing about me is you” (Unknown). These sweet lines will leave your partner feeling loved and appreciated.
Whatever mood you are in, there is always a quote that fits perfectly. So if you need a pick-me-up or something to spice up your relationship, these funny and sexy quotes will do the trick!
These Funny and Sexy Quotes Will Crack You Up
Everybody loves a good laugh, and these funny and sexy quotes will certainly give you a chuckle. Whether it’s the witty one-liners of Mae West or the bawdy humor of Sarah Silverman, these funny and sexy quotes will have you in stitches. From raunchy sayings to clever comebacks, these quotes will make any situation more enjoyable. So if you’re looking for some laughs, read on for some of the funniest and sexiest quotes around!
“A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.” -Mae West
“Sex is like bridge: If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.” -Woody Allen
“The only thing better than going to bed with someone is going to bed with someone who has gone to bed with someone else.” -Mignon McLaughlin
“If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?” -Bette Midler
“Sex appeal is fifty percent what you’ve got and fifty percent what people think you’ve got.” -Sophia Loren
“I’m not sure if I’ve ever had an orgasm – but I’m sure I will sometime.” -Joan Rivers
“Sex is like money; only too much is enough.” -John Updike
“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.” -Steve Martin
“Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it’s one of the best.” -Woody Allen
So if you’re looking for some comedic relief or just want to get your mind off things for a while, these hilarious and sultry quotes should do the trick. Have fun!
Unforgettable Funny Quotes
Funny quotes can lighten up any occasion and provide a bit of comic relief in the middle of a long day. Whether it’s an old classic from a legendary comedian or a witty one-liner from a modern comedian, these quotes will make you smile. From the funny to the inspirational, here are some unforgettable funny quotes that will make you smile.
“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin
“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.” – Forrest Gump
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.” – Steven Wright
“If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn’t type any slower.” – Mitch Hedberg
Sexy Quotes
Sexy quotes can be fun and playful way to spice up your relationship and get the sparks flying. Whether it’s something sweet and romantic or sultry and seductive, these sexy quotes will help set the mood for an unforgettable night. Here are some sexy quotes that will make you smile:
“I want to be your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye.” – Unknown
“Let’s get physical, physical.” – Olivia Newton John
“You’re like whiskey; aged and smooth.” – Unknown
“The best part of me is yet to come.” – John Legend
Get Ready to Laugh Out Loud with These Funny and Sexy Quotes
It’s no secret that a good laugh is the best medicine, and when you’re looking for a way to spice up any conversation, nothing beats a few funny and sexy quotes. Whether you’re looking for something to use in a card or just want to make someone smile, these hilarious quotes are sure to put a smile on anyone’s face. Here are some of the funniest and sexiest quotes out there that will make you laugh out loud.
“A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.” – Irish Proverb
“You know what charm is: A way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question.” – Albert Camus
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” – Dorothy Parker
“My wife says I never listen to her. Or something like that…” – Anonymous
“I don’t need any part-time lovers, I’m looking for someone who can love me full-time 24/7.” – Anonymous
“I’m not saying I’m gonna change the world, but I guarantee that I will spark the brain that will change the world.” – Tupac Shakur
“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” – Oscar Wilde
“Sexiness wears thin after awhile and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that’s a real treat.” – Joanne Woodward
For the Faint of Heart
Sometimes it takes a bit of courage and a sense of humor to make it through life. Whether you’re looking for a laugh or just need a pick-me-up, these hilarious and sexy quotes are sure to bring a smile to your face. From witty one-liners to clever quips, these quotes will inspire you to take on life with confidence and sass.
Take Life with a Grain of Salt
Life can get overwhelming at times, so why not take it with a grain of salt? Whether you’re dealing with heartbreak or just need some lighthearted comic relief, these quotes will remind you that life’s too short to take too seriously. So go ahead, laugh at yourself and don’t be afraid to show off your silly side!
Be Fearless and Fabulous
Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t be bold and beautiful. These quotes will remind you that it’s OK to take risks and express yourself without hesitation. With inspiring words from famous figures like Audrey Hepburn and Coco Chanel, these quotes will encourage you to stay true to yourself no matter what anyone says or does.
Keep It Sexy
It’s important not to forget about the sexy side of life. Whether you’re single or taken, these quotes will help remind you of the importance of feeling confident in your own skin. From sultry words about love and relationships to suggestive comebacks for when someone crosses the line, these funny yet flirtatious quotes are sure to make any situation steamier!
Funny Quotes
Laughter is the best medicine, and there’s nothing better than a funny quote to brighten up your day. Here are some of the funniest quotes to get your laughs on.
“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” – Mitch Hedberg
“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.” – Douglas Adams
“I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure.” – Unknown
“I just looked at my ceiling and I saw a crack, that’s how I knew the world was going to end.” – Unknown
“If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.” – Unknown
Sizzling Hot Quotes
Sometimes you just need some sizzling hot quotes to spice things up and add a bit of oomph! Here are some of the hottest quotes out there that will surely make your day.
“A real woman can do it all by herself but a real man won’t let her.” – Unknown
“Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw
“You only live once, but if you do it right once is enough.” – Mae West
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” – Mahatma Gandhi
“If you want something done right, do it yourself!”– Unknown
Conclusion
Funny sexy quotes are a great way to add some humor and levity to any situation. They can be used to break the ice, lighten the mood, or just add some fun to an otherwise serious conversation. Whether you’re looking for a laugh or something to spice up your conversation, funny sexy quotes are sure to make people smile. So the next time you’re in need of a good laugh, try one of these funny sexy quotes!
Ultimately, funny sexy quotes are a great way to bring laughter and joy into any situation. Whether you’re looking for something light hearted or something a bit more spicy, these hilarious quotes will surely do the trick! So the next time you’re stuck in an awkward moment or just need some entertainment, give one of these funny sexy quotes a try!