Mothers are often seen as the backbone of the family, but sometimes their sense of humor and love for life can be just as important. With that in mind, here is a collection of funny quotes about bad mothers that will make you laugh out loud. From poking fun at themselves to having a good-natured laugh at their children’s expense, these funny quotes remind us why motherhood is so special. So grab a cup of coffee and enjoy!1. “My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.” – Jack Nicholson
2. “My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet. She’s now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia.” – Dame Edna Everage
3. “Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law.” – Hubert Humphrey
4. “My mother never gave up on me. I messed up in school so much they were sending me home, but my mother sent me right back.” – Denzel Washington
5. “My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.” – Tim Allen
6. “Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.” – Unknown
7. “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he had learned in seven years.” – Mark Twain
8. “The phrase ‘working mother’ is redundant.” – Jane Sellman
9. “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” – Milton Berle
10. “A suburban mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after” – Peter De Vries
Hilarious Quotes About Bad Mothers
Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate the amazing women in our lives who have shaped us into the people we are today. But sometimes, it can be hard to find the perfect words to express our appreciation for all that they do. That’s why funny quotes about bad mothers can be a great way to bring some lightheartedness into the holiday. From tongue-in-cheek observations about motherly behavior to sly digs at those who don’t quite live up to the ideal of motherhood, these quotes are sure to get a laugh. So sit back and enjoy some of these hilarious quotes about bad mothers!
“My mother taught me that if you don’t have anything nice to say, you should probably say nothing at all…so I’ll just keep my mouth shut.” – Unknown
“A mother is only as good as her last disaster.” – Unknown
“My mom always said that I was born with an attitude problem; she should know, she was there.” – Unknown
“My mother always said that if you can’t say something nice, you shouldn’t say anything at all. I think she was just trying to shut me up.” – Unknown
“My mom always told me that I had two ears and one mouth for a reason: so I could listen twice as much as I talk.” – Unknown
“My mom used to tell me that actions speak louder than words…so I started speaking louder.” – Unknown
“No matter how old you get, your mother will still think you’re five years old.” – Unknown
Funny Jokes About Bad Mothers
Mothers are often seen as the embodiment of love and patience, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be the butt of a few jokes. Here are some funny jokes about bad mothers:
Q: What did the bad mother say to her son?
A: “Go to your room and think about what you’ve done!”
Q: What did the bad mother say when her son asked for an ice cream cone?
A: “No, you don’t need any ice cream right now. You need to finish your homework.”
Q: What did the bad mother tell her son when he asked for a snack?
A: “You already had dinner, so go brush your teeth and get ready for bed.”
Q: What did the bad mother say when her son asked for a pet?
A: “No, we don’t have time to take care of another creature in this house. Now go clean your room.”
Bad Mothers
Mothers come in all shapes and sizes, and sometimes they just don’t get it right. From being too strict to not giving enough attention, bad mothers can cause a lot of stress and anxiety in their children. But there’s something strangely comical about the whole situation – which is why it’s no wonder that so many comedians use it as material for their stand-up routines. Here are some hilarious comic observations about bad mothers:
They Don’t Play Fair
Bad mothers have a tendency to be very one-sided when it comes to rules and discipline. They might be lenient when it comes to their own children, but strict with everyone else’s. Or they might be extremely strict with their own children, but not so much with anyone else’s! Either way, it isn’t fair – but that doesn’t stop them from doing it.
They Never Listen
When you try to talk to bad mothers about anything, they rarely listen. It can seem like they don’t care what you have to say or how you feel – they just want things done their way. This can make communication difficult and often results in frustration on both sides.
They Don’t Take Advice
One of the most frustrating things about bad mothers is that they never take advice from anyone – even if the advice would benefit them or their children in the long run. Instead, they stubbornly stick with what they think is right and refuse to change their minds.
They Overreact
Bad mothers have a tendency to overreact when things don’t go according to plan. Whether it’s an argument between siblings or a poor test grade, bad mothers tend to blow things out of proportion and make a bigger deal out of them than necessary.
Bad mothers may not always get it right but at least they give us plenty of material for comedy!
Witty Sayings About Bad Mothers
Mothers are traditionally thought of as beacons of love and kindness, so when a mother disappoints her children, it can be particularly hurtful. Here is a collection of witty and humorous sayings about bad mothers.
“A good mother is worth hundreds of schoolmasters.” – George Herbert
“Life doesn’t come with a manual, it comes with a mother.” – Unknown
“My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.” – Amy Sedaris
“My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.” – Mark Twain
“I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.” – Abraham Lincoln
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” – Phyllis Diller
Funny Insults About Bad Mothers
She’s so bad at motherhood, she makes a beaver look like a parenting expert.
She’s so negligent as a mom, she puts the “ugh” in “motherhood”.
She’s such a terrible mom, her kids are convinced they were raised by wolves.
She’s so irresponsible as a mother, she makes Mary Poppins look like an amateur.
She’s such a bad parent, her kids have to be supervised by their stuffed animals.
She’s such a neglectful mom, she makes Mrs. Doubtfire look like supermom.
Amusing Comments About Bad Mothers
Motherhood is one of the toughest jobs out there and it’s not for everyone. Unfortunately, there are some mothers who don’t take their role as seriously as they should, leading to some truly amusing comments about their parenting skills. From the mom who still doesn’t know how to change a diaper to the mother who feeds her kids fast food every night, here are a few of the funniest comments about bad moms.
“My mom still calls me when she needs help figuring out how to do something on her computer – and I’m in my thirties!”
“My mom has never changed my little brother’s diaper. She just calls him ‘the baby with no bottom!'”
“My mom has no idea how many kids I have. She always asks me ‘how many grandkids do you have now?'”
“My mom feeds us fast food for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It’s like living in a McDonald’s commercial!”
“My mom told me she was going to take me shopping for school supplies but then she just dropped me off at Walmart and said ‘have fun!'”
“My mum has been married three times and she can’t even remember all of our last names.”
While these comments might be amusing, it’s important to remember that being a good mother takes hard work and dedication. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t laugh at the hilarious things bad moms say!
Humorous Remarks About Bad Mothers
Everyone knows that being a mother is one of the toughest jobs in the world. But it’s also important to remember that sometimes, mothers get a bad rap. From jokes about bad cooking to criticisms of smothering behavior, there are plenty of humorous comments out there about bad mothers. Here are some of the most common humorous remarks about bad mothers:
“My mother always used to say that cleanliness was next to godliness, so I think she must have been praying for a miracle.”
“My mother never could get the hang of making toast. It would either come out too burnt or too soggy.”
“My mother spent so much time trying to make sure my brother and I were perfect that she forgot to actually enjoy our childhood.”
“My mother’s cooking was so bad that even the dog wouldn’t eat it.”
“My mom was so protective that she would walk me to school every day until I left for college!”
“My mom would always tell us not to talk back, but when we did she would just laugh!”
“My mother was a real helicopter parent; she hovered over us like an annoying fly!”
Conclusion
Funny quotes about bad mothers are an interesting way to explore the complexities of motherhood. While the quotes might appear lighthearted on the surface, they reveal a deeper truth about how difficult it is to be a mother and how hard it is to parent well. In many cases, these quotes can be used to identify areas for improvement in parenting styles, and even to find humor when things don’t go as planned.
Ultimately, these quotes provide a unique view into the daily struggles and joys of motherhood. While some may be seen as critical or negative, they can actually be used in a humorous way that helps us all relate better to one another—and makes us laugh in the process.