Welcome to the world of funny and naughty quotes! Here, you will find a wide range of hilariously mischievous and cheeky quotes that are sure to make you laugh out loud. Whether it’s something to make your friends giggle or a fun reminder to yourself, these quotes are sure to bring some humour and laughter into your life. So, go ahead and enjoy our collection of funny naughty quotes!1. “My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.” -Jerry Seinfeld
2. “You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’” -Jerry Seinfeld
3. “I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.” -Woody Allen
4. “If it weren’t for pick-pockets I’d have no sex life at all.” -Rodney Dangerfield
5. “Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” -Robert Orben
6. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” -Robin Williams
7. “Never trust a man who speaks well of everybody.” -John Churton Collins
8. “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months — I don’t like to interrupt her.” -Rodney Dangerfield
9. “The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.” – George Burns
10. “Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” – Maryon Pearson
Naughty Quotes To Make You Laugh Out Loud
Humor is one of the best ways to lighten the mood and get people laughing. Everyone loves to have a good laugh, and a few naughty quotes can do just that. Whether you’re looking for something to share with your friends or just looking for a quick chuckle, these naughty quotes are sure to make you laugh out loud. From saucy jokes to off-color remarks, these naughty quotes will have you feeling like a kid again. So get ready for some innocent fun and check out these naughty quotes that will make you laugh out loud!
“A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.” -Groucho Marx
“If at first you don’t succeed, maybe skydiving isn’t for you.” -Unknown
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” -Dave Barry
“I’m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.” -Carol Leifer
“I don’t have an attitude problem, I just have a personality that you can’t handle.” -Unknown
“I’m not saying I’m Superman, but I’ve never had to pay for my own drinks.” -Unknown
“My wife and I were happy for twenty years…then we met.” -Rodney Dangerfield
Naughty Quotes That Will Make You Giggle
Who doesn’t love a good naughty quote? Whether you’re looking for something to make your partner laugh, or just a way to add some spice to your own life, naughty quotes can be the perfect way to express yourself. From funny one-liners to cheeky jokes and puns, these quotes are sure to make you giggle. Here are some of our favorite naughty quotes that will make you giggle:
“If it wasn’t for pick-up lines, I wouldn’t get any action.”
“I’m not flirting. I’m just being extra friendly to someone who is extra attractive.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being a little naughty sometimes.”
“Life’s too short not to be a little bit daring and adventurous.”
“The only thing better than having you in my bed is having you in my life.”
“My body isn’t the only thing that’s hot – my mind is too!”
“If it weren’t for double standards, men would get away with everything!”
“I’m not saying I’m easy – I’m saying I know how to have fun!”
“Actions speak louder than words – so why don’t you show me what you’ve got?”
The Funniest Naughty Quotes Of All Time
Humor is a great way to break the ice and the naughty quotes of all time are sure to bring a chuckle or two. Naughty quotes can be used in many different contexts, including when you want to add some spice to a conversation or just make someone laugh. Here are some of the funniest naughty quotes of all time that will surely have you and your friends in stitches.
“I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.” – Anonymous
“Never trust someone who has not brought chocolate to the party.” – Unknown
“I’m so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed.” – Unknown
“I don’t always make mistakes, but when I do they’re big ones.” – Unknown
“If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.” – Anonymous
“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew.” – Unknown
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Unknown
“My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.” – Anonymous
“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure.” – Unknown
These naughty quotes are sure to brighten up any day and put a smile on anyone’s face. So next time you’re looking for something funny to say, why not try one of these naughty quotes? You’ll be sure to be the life of the party!
Naughty Jokes To Crack Up Your Friends
Everyone loves a good joke, especially when it’s naughty and comes with a surprise punch line! There are many ways to make someone laugh, but nothing is as fun as a naughty joke. Whether you’re looking for something to share at the office or a way to spice up your next party, here are some of the best naughty jokes to crack up your friends.
A man walks into a bar and orders three beers. The bartender looks at him in confusion and asks, “Why three beers?” The man replies, “It’s for me and my two best friends: guilt and regret.”
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
A man goes into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “That’ll be $3.50.” The man says, “No way! I’m only paying $2.” The bartender says, “Fine. Just pay me what you think is fair.” So the man hands him two quarters and walks out.
What did one ghost say to the other ghost? Do you believe in people?
Why don’t skeletons ever go out on the town? Because they don’t have any body to go with them!
A woman goes into an ice cream shop and orders two scoops of chocolate ice cream in a cone. The cashier says, “That’ll be $6.50.” She hands him $6, takes her cone of ice cream, and starts walking away without paying. When he calls after her she turns around and says,”What do you mean? I gave you $6!” The cashier responds,”Yes but the price was for one scoop.” She shrugs her shoulders and replies,”Well I guess I’m just gonna have to come back later for my second scoop then!”
Silliest Naughty Quotes You’ll Ever Read
We all know that life can be a little naughty at times. Whether you’re enjoying a night on the town or just looking to spice things up, there’s nothing wrong with having a little fun. But why not take it to the next level with some of the silliest naughty quotes you’ll ever read?
These hilarious quotes are sure to make you giggle and bring out your inner bad girl. From witty one-liners to out-of-this world puns, these naughty quotes are perfect for getting your friends in the mood for some mischief.
So, let’s get down and dirty with some of the best naughty quotes around! To start us off, here’s a classic: “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.” This classic line is sure to get any date off to a great start.
For something more risqué, try this one: “If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.” This sweetly suggestive quote is perfect for showing your affection in an unexpected way.
If you’re feeling saucy and want something even more daring, this next one will do the trick: “I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you.” You’ll have them melting right in front of you!
And don’t forget about those classic double entendres! Here’s one that will leave them blushing: “I’m no photographer but I can picture us together.” This flirty line will have them laughing – or maybe even blushing – all night long!
Finally, if you’re looking for something truly outrageous, try this one: “Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m really feeling a connection.” This hilarious pun is sure to get anyone in the mood for some fun – and maybe even get them swooning too!
So go ahead and take your pick from these sultry sayings; they’re sure to make any night out even more exciting!
The Funniest Naughty One-Liners
Humor has the power to lighten any mood, and naughty one-liners are no exception. Whether you’re looking for a good laugh with your friends or a way to break the ice at a party, these funny one-liners are sure to do the trick. From risqué jokes to clever puns, these one-liners will have everyone in stitches.
Here are some of the funniest naughty one-liners:
“I’m not into watching porn, but I’m definitely into doing it.”
“If you were a burger at McDonald’s, you’d be a McGorgeous.”
“I’m not drunk, I’m just chemically off-balanced.”
“My doctor told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.”
“Do you want to come over and watch porn on my flat screen mirror?”
“If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.”
“Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.”
“If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.”
“What has 36 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.”
“I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!”
No matter what kind of humor you’re into, there’s something for everyone in this collection of naughty one-liners. Whether it’s witty innuendos or outright jokes about sex and relationships, these funny quips will have everyone in stitches. So go ahead and enjoy some harmless fun with your friends or loved ones – after all laughter is the best medicine!
Hilarious Naughty Sayings To Brighten Your Day
Humor can be a great way to lighten the mood and add laughter to your day. Whether you’re looking for a chuckle or an all-out guffaw, these hilarious naughty sayings are sure to bring a smile to your face. From puns to innuendos, these funny phrases will have you laughing in no time.
For those of us who appreciate a bit of clever wordplay, there’s nothing quite like a naughty pun. Take the phrase “love at first sight” for example. With a bit of naughty ingenuity, this phrase can become “lust at first sight” and provide a hilarious double entendre with just two little words!
Sometimes even subtle changes can make for big laughs. Turn “I need a hug” into “I need a thug” and you have yourself an amusing play on words. Or take the popular phrase “It takes two to tango” and switch it up with “It takes three to mambo,” giving your friends something to giggle about.
Innuendos can also be an excellent source of humor. A classic example is the phrase “That was close! I nearly spilled my drink!” This seemingly innocent sentence is taken up a notch when swapped out for the doubled entendre “That was close! I nearly spilled the beans!” These types of jokes are great for getting some sly chuckles out of your friends or family members without being too overt.
No matter what kind of humor you enjoy, these naughty sayings are sure to give you something to laugh about. So next time you want to put a smile on someone’s face, try out one of these funny phrases and watch as they double over in laughter!
Conclusion
Funny naughty quotes can be a great way to lighten the mood and inject some humor into any situation. As long as the person saying them is comfortable with the people they are sharing them with, these jokes can be very funny and memorable. However, it is important to remember that not everyone may be comfortable with such jokes and it is best to err on the side of caution when deciding whether or not to share a naughty quote.
Ultimately, funny naughty quotes can be a fun way to add some humor into conversations and make any gathering more enjoyable. With thoughtful consideration, anyone can safely use them in their interactions and have everyone laughing in no time!