Funny dirty quotes have been around for centuries, providing a source of laughter, amusement, and sometimes shock. Whether it’s an inappropriate suggestion, a naughty double entendre, or an outrageous pun, these quotes can bring out the naughty side of all of us. From comedians to politicians, these funny dirty quotes are sure to get a laugh out of even the most prudish. So if you’re looking for a bit of light-hearted fun and some mischievous chuckles, then you’ve come to the right place!”If you’re not a germaphobe, you’re missing out on half the fun.”
Hilarious Dirty Quotes That Will Make You LOL
Dirty quotes can add a bit of spice to any conversation, and are sure to make you and your friends laugh. Whether you’re looking for something a little more risqué or a light-hearted joke, these hilarious dirty quotes are sure to bring a smile to your face.
“A girl’s legs are her best friends… But even the best of friends must part.” – Dorothy Parker
“My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember all the things I had to do.” – Unknown
“Nothing beats a good ‘ole fashioned spanking.” – Unknown
“Sex is like pizza; even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.” – Unknown
“I’m not into one night stands, but hey… I’m open for breakfast the next morning.” – Unknown
“I just want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.” – Unknown
“I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.” – Unknown
“A gentleman holds my hand. A man pulls my hair. A soulmate will do both.” – Unknown
Naughtiest & Funniest Dirty Quotes
Dirty quotes can be a great way to add a bit of fun and spice to your relationship. Whether you’re looking for something naughty to whisper in your partner’s ear or just want to make them laugh, these quotes are sure to do the trick. From saucy one-liners to hilarious innuendos, these naughtiest and funniest dirty quotes are guaranteed to put a smile on your partner’s face.
“If you want me later, you better call me now.”
“I’m no weatherman, but you can expect a few inches tonight.”
“I’m gonna take off your pants and put some pants on you.”
“Let’s get naked and do bad things.”
“Let’s get out of here and go somewhere private where I can show you what I’m really made of.”
“Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?”
“I must be using Apple Maps because I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
“I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.”
“You must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.”
Outrageous & Rude Dirty Quotes
It is no secret that some of the most outrageous and rude quotes have come from some of the most famous people in history. From politicians to movie stars, these quotes have become immortalized in our culture and will never be forgotten. Whether they are funny, wise, or just plain rude, these dirty quotes offer an insight into the minds of those who made them. Here are some of the most outrageous and rude dirty quotes ever uttered.
“I am not a complete idiot – some parts are missing.” – Anonymous
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.” – Groucho Marx
“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” – W.C Fields
“Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” – Groucho Marx
“A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.” – Oliver Herford
“There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.” – Will Rogers
“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.” – George Carlin
“My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” – Mark Twain
Humorous Dirty Quotes
Dirty quotes can be used to bring a bit of humour and laughter into any conversation. Whether you’re just looking for a giggle or trying to spice up your love life, these quotes will definitely do the trick. Some of the most popular ones include “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve me at my best” and “I’m not crazy, my reality is just different than yours.” These are great for flirting or just having a good laugh with your friends.
Another great one for the ladies is “A lady in the street but a freak in the bed.” This one is sure to get some laughs and start a few conversations. For the guys, there’s always “A hard man is good to find.” This one can also be used as a pick-up line if you’re feeling adventurous! If you’re feeling daring, try out “I’m not perfect but I’m always me,” which will surely get some attention.
Raunchy Dirty Quotes
Raunchy dirty quotes are great for getting someone’s attention in conversation. Some of the most popular ones include “I want to do bad things with you” and “Let’s get naughty tonight.” These are perfect for when you want to let someone know that they have your full attention. They also work well as pick-up lines if you’re looking for something more risqué than usual. Another great raunchy quote is “Let’s get wild and have some fun.” This one can really help break the ice and let someone know that they have your full attention.
For those feeling extra daring, there’s always “You make me feel like doing something naughty” or “Let’s do something that’ll make us both blush.” These are sure to make anyone blush and grab their attention right away! Of course, there are plenty more raunchy dirty quotes out there so have fun searching for them online or making up your own.
Wickedly Fun Dirty Quotes
Dirty talk can be a fun way to spice up relationships or flirt with someone. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or just starting out, these naughty quotes can be the perfect way to add some spice and playfulness to your love life. Here are some wickedly fun dirty quotes that will get your partner’s attention in no time!
“Let me kiss all your worries away.”
“I know something you can do with your mouth that will drive me wild.”
“I want you to do something naughty with me tonight. Any ideas?”
“I want to feel your lips on mine like it was our last kiss.”
“Let me show you how much I crave for your touch.”
“You make me so hot and bothered just by looking at me. I can’t help but think about what else you could do to me. ”
“Doing something naughty with you is on my bucket list. Let’s check it off tonight! ”
“Tonight, let’s explore each other in ways we never have before.”
Crude & Humorous Dirty Quotes
Dirty jokes and quotes can add a bit of spice to any conversation. Whether you’re out with friends or just need a pick-me-up, these funny and often outrageous quotes are sure to get a laugh. Of course, some of them are cruder than others, so be sure to adjust your audience accordingly!
From the classic one-liners to some of the more modern quips, here are some of the funniest dirty quotes you can use to brighten someone’s day:
“If sex is a pain in the ass, then you’re doing it wrong.”
“You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but inside he’s really sad. Also, he has severe diarrhoea.”
“The best way to get over a man is to get under another one.”
“My girlfriend always laughs during sex – no matter what she’s reading.”
“Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it’s one of the best.”
“I’m trying real hard not to be vulgar but I’m failing miserably.”
“My bed isn’t made but come on in anyway.”
“You know what I like about people? Their skin. It’s so soft and smooth!”
“I always sleep naked because it gives me something to look forward to when I wake up in the morning!”
Witty Quotes
Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get. – Forrest Gump
If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. – J.K. Rowling
If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had paid more attention in class. – Unknown
A witty saying proves nothing. – Voltaire
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. – Elbert Hubbard
Vulgar Quotes
Life’s a bitch and then you die, so fuck the world and let’s get high. – Eminem
Don’t be so quick to judge, you don’t know what kind of shit people are dealing with. – Unknown
I’m not rude, I’m just brutally honest; it’s not my fault truth hurts. – Unknown
Screw politeness, this is war! – Unknown
F*ck the rules, if you don’t like them just break them! – Unknown
Conclusion
Funny dirty quotes can be a great way to add a bit of humor to any situation. They can also add an element of surprise to conversations, making them more interesting and memorable. Whether you’re looking for something to share with a significant other, or want to make your friends laugh, funny dirty quotes can be the perfect solution.
No matter the context or occasion, funny dirty quotes can lighten the mood and make everyone laugh. From one-liners to longer jokes, there’s something for everyone when it comes to funny dirty quotes. It’s important to note that these types of jokes should always be used responsibly and with respect for other people’s feelings.
In conclusion, funny dirty quotes are a great way to inject some humor into any situation. Whether you’re looking for something short and sweet or longer jokes, there is plenty of material out there for you to choose from. Just remember that these types of jokes should always be used responsibly and with respect for others.