comedy quotes

Comedy quotes are a great way to add humor and lightness to any situation. Whether you’re looking for a funny one-liner, an outrageous pun, or an off-the-wall joke, comedy quotes can help bring a smile to your face and lighten the mood. With so many hilarious quips from famous comedians and actors, there’s no shortage of material to choose from. So, if you’re looking for some much needed comic relief, then check out these comedy quotes!1. “I’m so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.” – Demetri Martin
2. “I had a stick of Carefree gum, but it didn’t work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.” – Mitch Hedberg
3. “I think it’s interesting that ‘cologne’ rhymes with ‘alone.'” – Demetri Martin
4. “I love blackjack. But I’m not addicted to gambling. I’m addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.” – Mitch Hedberg
5. “My favorite animal is steak.” – Fran Lebowitz
6. “My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” – Mitch Hedberg
7. “The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.” – Phyllis Diller
8. “Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?” – Steven Wright
9. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope
10. “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty-five. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where she is.” – Ellen DeGeneres

10 Hilarious Quotes from Comedy Movies

Humorous quotes from comedy movies are sure to make you laugh. Whether it’s a classic one-liner or a clever joke, there’s something for everyone. Here are 10 of the funniest quotes from some of the most beloved comedies.

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” –Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

“What we’ve got here is failure to communicate.” –Cool Hand Luke

“There’s no crying in baseball!” –A League of Their Own

“You can’t handle the truth!” –A Few Good Men

“Go ahead, make my day.” –Sudden Impact

“Say hello to my little friend!” –Scarface

“You had me at ‘hello.'” –Jerry Maguire

“Show me the money!” –Jerry Maguire

“You’re gonna need a bigger boat.” –Jaws

“I’m the king of the world!” -Titanic

Humorous Quotes from Sitcoms

Sitcoms have been around for decades, providing us with some of the funniest quotes in television history. From the classic sitcoms like Friends and Seinfeld to the more modern shows such as The Big Bang Theory and Modern Family, these quotes have become a part of our culture. Here are ten of the most memorable, humorous quotes from sitcoms:

“Oh My God! They Killed Kenny!” – Stan Marsh, South Park

“I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom!” – Mrs. George Feeny, Boy Meets World

10 Witty One-Liners From Comedians

Let’s face it, comedians are masters of quick wit and one-liners. Whether it’s to make us laugh or think, these short yet effective statements can be memorable and highly impactful. This list includes some of the funniest one-liners from some of the most renowned comedians.

1. “I’m not afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” – Woody Allen

2. “I used to think the brain was the most amazing organ in the human body, until I realized who was telling me this.” – Emo Philips

3. “God gave men both a penis and a brain but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.” – Robin Williams

4. “My fake plants died because I didn’t pretend to water them.” – Mitch Hedberg

5. “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&M’s and a chocolate cake.” – Dave Barry

6. “I’m so poor that I can’t even pay attention” – Rodney Dangerfield

7. “I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it…I said, ‘Thyroid problem?’” – Arnold Schwarzenegger

8. “If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten” – George Carlin

9. “You know why they call it ‘PMS’? Because ‘Mad Cow Disease’ was already taken” – Unknown

10. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything” – Unknown

Amusing Quotes From Comics

Comic books have been around for decades, and with them come some of the most memorable and inspiring quotes. Here are 10 amusing quotes from comics that will make you smile:

“The only thing life has taught me is that it can’t be trusted.” – Deadpool

“I don’t want to live in a world without laughter.” – Spider-Man

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Green Arrow

“With great power comes great responsibility.” – Uncle Ben (Spider-Man)

“A hero can be anyone, even a man doing something as simple and reassuring as putting a coat around a young boy’s shoulders to let him know the world hadn’t ended.” – Batman

“Life doesn’t give us purpose. We give life purpose.” – Cyclops (X-Men)

“It’s not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.” – Batman

“There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom.”– Wonder Woman

“It’s not about what you are; it’s about who you choose to be!”– Wolverine (X-Men)

“Never forget: You are always stronger than you think you are!”– Superman

Cheeky Quotes From Comedic TV Shows

Nothing brings people together like a good laugh. One of the best ways to get a laugh is through cheeky quotes from comedic TV shows. From the sarcastic one-liners to the hilarious puns, these quotes have made us chuckle for years. Here are 10 of the best cheeky quotes from some of our favorite sitcoms:

1. “You know what they say: ‘Don’t hate the player, hate the game’. Unless it’s Monopoly, then you can hate the player too.” – Michael Scott, The Office

2. “I don’t always make the right decisions, but they’re my decisions.” – Leslie Knope, Parks and Recreation

3. “I’m not a goddess, I’m just a girl with a head full of crazy ideas.” – Phoebe Buffay, Friends

4. “I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongoose…and a panther.” – Dwight Schrute, The Office

5. “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” – Michael Scott, The Office

6. “If you want to be my lover you have to get with my friends…make it last forever, friendship never ends.” – Rachel Green, Friends

7. “Never half-ass two things; whole-ass one thing.” – Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation

8. “It’s like I always say: ‘If you want something done right do it yourself.’ Unless you’re too lazy—then pay someone else to do it.” – Chandler Bing, Friends

9. “When life gives you lemons make grape juice and let the world wonder how you did it.” – Phil Dunphy Modern Family

10. “We’re all living in each other’s paranoia.”– Jack Donaghy 30 Rock

Delightful Jokes From Comedy Specials

Laughter is the best medicine, and what better way to get a dose of it than from some hilarious jokes from comedy specials? There are so many great comedians out there that have put together amazing comedy specials that are sure to bring a smile to your face. Here are 10 of the most delightful jokes from comedy specials that you’ll definitely enjoy.

1. “I’m not saying my wife is stupid, but she does work at Home Depot and she can’t find her own way home!” – Jeff Foxworthy

2. “The first time I ever saw a ukulele was in the sixth grade when I was on vacation in Hawaii. I asked the guy playing it, ‘What instrument is this?’ He said, ‘It’s a ukulele.’ I said, ‘Cool! What’s it do?’” – Demetri Martin

3. “I don’t really like going to weddings, because that’s when all my ex-girlfriends invite me back.” – Aziz Ansari

4. “I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.” – Mitch Hedberg

5. “I’m not saying my mother-in-law’s ugly, but if she was a dog they’d shave her butt and teach her to walk backwards.” – Jeff Dunham

6. “My dad never gave me advice growing up… He did give me one piece of advice: ‘Always be yourself.’ So I went out and got some other advice.” – Iliza Shlesinger

7. “My grandfather used to say ‘Don’t watch your money; watch your health.’ So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money! It was my grandfather!” – Jerry Seinfeld

8. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!” – Brian Regan

9. “My wife and I were happy for 20 years… then we met.” – Rodney Dangerfield

10. “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!” – Jim Gaffigan

Playful Sayings From Comedians

Humor is a great way to make the world more enjoyable, and comedians are some of the most entertaining people out there. They use their wit and charm to make us laugh and forget about our worries, and part of their job is coming up with memorable lines that we can quote for years. Here are ten playful sayings from comedians that will bring a smile to your face:

1. “Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you’re gonna get!” – Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks)

2. “You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” – Dean Martin

3. “I don’t have a solution but I admire the problem.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

4. “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you!” – Steven Wright

5. “It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.”- Erma Bombeck

6. “If only closed minds came with closed mouths!” – George Carlin

7. “Age is just a number – unless you happen to be a bottle of wine!” – Joan Rivers

8. “Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.” – Cullen Hightower

9. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” – Bob Hope

10. “A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”- Jane Austen

Conclusion

Comedy quotes are an amazing way to add some humor and light-heartedness to any situation. They can be used to bring a smile to someone’s face or to break the tension during a stressful moment. Whether they are delivered in the form of a joke, a pun, or an observation about life, comedy quotes can help us see the funny side of almost anything. It can also be helpful for those who are feeling down and need some extra motivation. With so many comedy quotes out there, it is easy to find one that is right for any occasion.

At their core, comedy quotes provide us with a way to laugh at ourselves and the world around us. They remind us that life isn’t always so serious and that taking time to crack a joke or two can go a long way. Ultimately, it is the laughter that makes these quotes so powerful and memorable—they offer both comfort and entertainment when we need it most.